The set-up

Anne owned a bakery/restaurant, and Jay was a regular – mainly for the good coffee and the spinach-breakfast-rolls, but for the conversation, and ambience as well.

They’d known each other for years, and had enjoyed many early-morning and late-night conversations when the place was slow and Anne had the time to have a seat for a while.

One evening, not long before closing time, Jay and Anne were sitting at a table, the only people in the bakery-cafe, talking about their latest romantic mis-adventures.

The door to the cafe opened, and a woman entered. About Jay’s age, shorter than him, and nicely dressed in a rock-and-roll-casual sort of way.

“Hi”, she said.  Anne stood up from the table and greeted the newcomer with a hug.  Jay stood as well.

Anne said, “Hey you! Thanks for stopping by! This is my friend Jay,”, she said, waving toward Jay, “And Jay, this is Dani.”

Jay waved at Dani, who waved back. “Please, join us.”, Jay said, and pulled a chair over for Mari.

Dani sat down, and Anne left to fetch a mug of tea for her friend.  Once the tea was delivered, Anne walked to the door and flipped the sign to “Closed”, locked the door and drew down the shades.

Anne sat again, “Some privacy! Now it’s just us!”.

The three of them chatted for a while, trading what they did for a living, and what they did to relax, and laughed; in general, they were having a good time.

Anne eventually said, “Jay here is a writer.  He writes very interesting fiction. The kind I enjoy.”, she looked at Dani and raised an eyebrow.

Dani said, “Oh you do? I enjoy that kind too. I’d be interested in reading some, sometime.”

“I’ll send you a link, Dani.”, Jay said.

Dani said, “Thank you. I’ve written a bit, but I’ve never posted it anywhere. Maybe I’ll send you one!”

Jay nodded, “I’d love to read it!”, as Anne stood up and picked up empty mugs and plates.

She said, “Hey, can I ask you to for some help? Can you head to the back room and turn out the lights and lock it up? It’ll take both of you to close the window-vent. There’s a ladder in there.”  Anne turned, and headed to the back, mugs and plates and dirty cutlery in hand.

Jay and Dani agreed, and headed to the back of the bakery, past the front counter and through the workspace. Jay opened the door to the back room, and Dani entered. He followed, and he felt an unexpected pressure on the door as it closed behind him.

Jay tried the door knob; it was locked. He pressed on the door, and it didn’t budge. “Hey..”, he said.

He heard Dani take a nervous-sounding breath, “Oh… mygod.” He turned to see her facing the room, one hand on her chest, the other over her mouth. She was looking at three carts stacked with large cream pies.

Jay took a breath, and gulped. The pies looked amazingly enticing.  Wide, and deep and tall with whipped cream, and smelling clearly of sweet coconut. “Wow!”, he said.

Dani turned to him, “Yeah wow! Look at all of those pies! Oh my god, I need to get out of here!”, she laughed, and tucked her hair behind her ear.  She brushed past Jay, and tried to open the door.

“Oh no!”, she said, “You locked us in?”, she looked at Jay.  He replied, “No, we got locked in! I felt the door close behind me.”

Dani rapped on the door with her fingers, “Anne! Hey, open up, let us out!”

Through the door, they heard Anne’s voice, “No! You two have a good time in there, have fun! I’ll close up and let you out when I’m done!”

Jay said, “Huh! I didn’t know this was a blind date!”  Dani looked at the dozens of pies, and pulled her shirt closer together. Biting her lip, she then said, “It wasn’t! At least I didn’t know if it was!”

Jay shook his head. “Pies!  Pie storage room.. cute! And unfair.”

Dani replied, “Yeah, very cute. And very unfair! Why unfair to you?”

Jay sighed, and laughed nervously, “Well, I love pie. Pies with whipped cream, particularly.”

Dani turned away and looked at the rows of pies again, “Yeah, me too.”

Jay said, somewhat wistfully, “Everything about them…”

Dani, just as wistfully, said, “Uh huh, me too…”

She looked over at Jay and cocked an eyebrow, “Got a favorite?”

He nodded, “Coconut cream. You?”

“Same.”, she said.

“Coconut is sexy”, he said. “Taste, smell, texture, very sensual.”

Dani said, “Yeah….same.”

Jay said, “Does it smell like coconut in here, to you?”

Dani said, “Yes it does, and I’m about to have an orgasm if we don’t open a window!”

Jay laughed, taken aback by her funny and honest comment.

Dani took a deep breath and banged on the door again, “Anne!  Hey, there are lots of pies in here! Can we get out please?”

Anne said, “Oh imagine that!  Well, enjoy yourselves then, they’re very good pies!”

Jay muttered, “She really doesn’t want to say that right now..”

Dani heard him and said, “No, no she doesn’t.”, and she turned to the door again, “How can we, there’s no plates or forks in here!”

There was a pause, and a laugh, “Oh, you two don’t need plates to enjoy a good pie.”

Dani rested her forehead against the door, “Oh fuck. No no no, no no!”

Jay looked at Dani, quizzically, “What?”

Dani lifted her head from the door and took a deep breath, and looked into Jay’s eyes, “Oh, nothing. It’s fine, nothing at all.” She looked at him, up and down, and turned again to the pies. “I wonder if this is some sort of test?”

Jay shouted through the door, “Hey Anne, is this some sort of test?”

Anne shouted back, “Yes!”

“Oh, nice”, Jay said sarcastically.

Dani shouted, “Anne, can you let us out?”

“Eventually!”, said Anne.

Jay asked, “What do we need to do for you to let us out?”

Dani added, “Yeah, come on, what do we need to do? You know how I feel about pies!”

Jay asked Dani, “And how do you feel about pies?”, but she just glanced at him and looked away without answering.

Anne said, “Oh, I know how you feel about ’em! Hmm.. OK, hey, here’s a thought! First step to get out is, hand me all of your clothes, through the door.”

Jay asked, “Who, me or Dani?”

Dani muttered, “Oh no!”, just before Ann said, “Oh, both of you, of course!”

Jay said, “Oh, boy”, and rubbed his eyes.

Dani said, “Just to underwear, right? And then you’ll let us out?”

Anne replied quickly, “Nope! Everything. All of it. You need to get all nekkid! That’s step one!”

Dani turned around and put her hands on her face, “Oh my god!”, and she turned again and yelled toward the door, “I will get you for this!”

Jay yelled, “Seconded!”

Anne yelled, “Clothes! Please! Now!”, and laughed.

“Oh, man!”, Jay said. “Well, I’m not shy, are you?”, and Dani replied, “Well, no, I’m not shy, but this is just.. not what I expected. And these pies are distracting.”

“Yeah, they are.”, he agree.

Dani said, “Well, I’m glad they are for you too.”

They looked at each other for a moment, until Dani said, “Well, should we take off all of our clothes? I will if you will.”

Jay nodded, “I will if you will. Mutually assured nudity, works for me. And then we can do what we can to get out of here. Oh, I’m so gonna get her for this!”

Dani started to unbutton her shirt, “get in line”

In short order she was down to her bra and underwear, and he was down to his t-shirt and boxers.  Dani walked up and pulled his shirt over his head. “There!”, she said.

She looked at him, smiling, “Hey, not bad, you’re pretty good looking!”

He smiled, and nodded, “Back at you! You’re very sexy!”

She smiled, and brushed hair away from her cheek, “Thank you!”

Jay walked up to Dani and reached around to unclasp her bra. “Thanks”, she said, and then gasped as Jay slid his hands down, sliding her bra off and catching her underwear in his fingers and he slid them to the floor as well. In one long caress, he stripped Dani of her underwear and left her standing in the room completely naked.

She smiled, and gasped, her hands out at her sides, “Jay! That was.. unexpected!”

He nodded, “It was!”

She said quietly, “And hot!”

He laughed, and she reached over to pull his briefs off.  Sliding them to the floor, his cock semi-hard and bouncing out, she grinned. Standing up to look at him, she said, “Oh, that’s not fair. You’re very handsome. I like your penis, it’s quite pretty!”

Jay laughed, “Thanks!  I’m glad you like!  I love all of you, for the record. You’re gorgeous naked, I’m enjoying this!”

She said, “I bet you are! And thank you, I’m glad you think so!”

Dani turned to the door again and yelled, “Ok, tits are out, I’m naked! So is Jay. He’s cute by the way, you’re missing out! He has a nice penis!”. She winked at Jay. “Sorry! But not sorry!”, she said. He gathered up the clothing, and said, “Got the clothes.”

Anne said, ‘Pass them through!”, and when the door opened a crack, he passed the clothed to Anne, who cackled, “Oh, too easy!”. The door closed again and locked.

Jay was getting increasingly hard, and Dani smirked at him, “I see you like me, I’m flattered!”. Jay shrugged and smiled, and Dani said, “Oh, it’s ok, I like you too. It’s just less obvious.”

Jay smirked back, and then turned to the door, “OK, Anne! Now what? I gave you our clothes! Let us out!”

There was a pause, and then Anne’s voice, “One of you has to throw a pie.”

Dani groaned, “Oh, I knew it I knew it, I knew it.”

Jay bit his lip, and was now fully erect. He didn’t hide it. Dani turned around, her hands clasped on the top of her head, and she looked at Jay.  Glancing at his raging hard-on, she said, “Oh I see you love that idea! And, by the way, you’re totally distracting me right now, too.”

Jay said, “Well, miss sexy naked woman, likewise. It’s not easy to take my eyes off of you.”

Dani grinned, “Good!”

Jay yelled through the door, “Seriously, Anne?”

Anne laughed back, “Oh yeah! Seriously!”

Jay picked up a particularly large, whipped-cream loaded pie. Dani turned around and back, “Oh, my god!”, and laughed nervously.

Jay shrugged, “It’s OK, I know what I’m doing.”

Dani said, “Oh, I have no doubt! Ok, well, can you just like, throw it at my ass or something?”

Anne yelled through the door, “Hey Dani!””

Dani yelled back, “What?!”

Anne yelled, “I forgot to mention, Jay’s the author of the stories I sent to you.”

Dani took that in for a moment, and dropped her hands from her head to her side. Her mouth opened, her face an expression of surprised realization. “Oh.. OH. Oh you have to be kidding me. That’s you?”, she looked at Jay, who was still holding the cream pie in the flat of his hand.

He nodded, “Yep”.

Dani shuddered a noise, “Uhh huhhuhuh…”, and bit her lip, and crossed her arms.  She uncrossed them, and then put her hands on her hips. “As soon as I saw those pies, I had a feeling.. ungh,, oh, nevermind.”

Dani shifted her hands to clasp in front of her, causing her breasts to squeeze together a little.

Jay said, “Ok, at your ass. I’ll throw the pie at your ass, and then we can get out of here.”

Dani turned around so that her read-end was facing Jay.

Dani sighed, and waited. Jay said, “Hm, really nice ass, Dani, I’m distracted!”

Dani smiled, “Ha ha, thanks! I like compliments, I have to say! But come on, I’d like to get out of here! Throw the pie!”

Jay said, “Happily!”, and waited.

Dani waited, and said, “Anything wrong?”.  Jay didn’t respond. “Jay?”, she asked.

“Jay?”.  Crickets.

Finally, Dani turned around to face Jay, and Jay threw the pie right into Dani’s face.

The pie hit with a loud “pfafff!”, sending whipped cream in a halo around Dani’s head to the wall behind her, over her shoulders and around her neck. The sounds of pie hitting the wall and floor followed.

A thick layer of whipped cream covered her face from ear to ear, and over her hair, splashing and smearing her hair with white wisps and globs of whipped cream. A blast of cream from the pie splattered downwards, landing across her chest and one forearm. There was a lot of cream in the pie, and Dani stood there, mouth open and semi-covered in pie, smiling in shock. A large piece of crust slid from the side of her face to lodge on her shoulder, propped up against her head and neck. Dani was the recipient of a very large, and perfectly delivered, pie in the face.

Dani exhaled, “Oh!”, and her breathing was heavy. A piece of crust on the other side of her head slid and fell, bouncing off of her breast and leaving a streak of cream down her curve and over a stiff nipple, now a cream-coated gumdrop. It bounced off of her thigh before hitting the floor with a pop. “Oh! Ungh! Oh! Ahh!”, she was unable to move as the pie stuck to her and started to slowly slide down from her head.

Her breathing deep, Dani stood with her hands clasped in front of her, “Oh! Oh, I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, as soon as I saw all of those pies I freakin’ knew it!”

Jay, laughing, and looking at Dani up, down and back again, said, “Knew what?”

Dani nodded, a piece of crust falling from her mouth and chin. She opened her eyes through the pie, and they could barely see for all of the whipped cream covering her face. She said, still nodding, “I’d get a hit with a pie in the face!”

Dani licked her lips, swallowed the pie, and grinned a wide, happy grin. “I can’t believe it, I can’t believe that this just happened and I got pied!”

Now she was shaking her head, and she finally reached up to take pie from her eyes.

Jay was smiling, and said, “You look amazing! Extremely sexy, you look fantastic naked and pied in the face! Completely sexy, and attractive, I love it! And you smell like coconut! Oh, that’s just too good.”

Dani smiled, “You do? I’m sexy, pied? You think so?”, and she pulled a piece of crust from her cheek.

Jay nodded, “Sexy, stark naked pie in the face, you are exactly that!”

Dani licked more cream from her bottom lip, and picked up a large pie. “You enjoyed that pie in the face, didn’t you Jay?”

She looked up at Jay, her face creamed, various parts of her body smeared or splashed with whipped cream, and smiled.

Jay nodded, “I did! I love everything about a pie in the face.”

Dani gulped, and bit her lip, “Uh, everything?”

He nodded, “Everything. I love everything about a pie in the face.”

Dani muttered, “Oh my god. Really? So you want this pie?”

He nodded, and looked into Dani’s eyes, “Yes. I want that pie.”

Dani’s breathing increased again, and she said, “That’s hot. You’re turning me on, I think it’s hot that you want this pie. You really want this pie, are you sure?”

Dani took a step towards Jay, who didn’t budge and was looking into Dani’s eyes with a smouldering look.  Dani looked back, her own glance going from amused to smouldering as well.  Jay replied, “I’m sure, I’m really sure. I want that pie from you, Dani.”

Dani said, “You have no idea how hot it is to hear you say that.”

Jay said, “Oh, I think I do…”

Dani said, “I’m really glad I took a pie in the face. In fact I loved it, it really turned me on.”

Jay, his glance not wavering, and their eyes locked, said, “Oh, it did? Now, see, that turns me on to hear.”

Dani said, “Oh, does it? Well, getting hit with a pie in the face turns me on like crazy. And I’m very happy that you hit me with a pie.”

Jay said, “Oh, good, I’d love to do it again.”

“Oh, I’d love it if you did it again. But not before I give you what you really are sure you want.”, she replied.

Jay asked, “You mean, that pie you’re holding?”

Dani nodded, “Oh yes. This pie. Are you absolutely sure you want it? You’re suuuuuure?”

Jay leaned in, and gazed into Dani’s eyes, which had cream stuck in the corners. “Oh, I’m absolutely sure I want that pie, from you, Dani.  Give me that pie.”

Dani bit her lip, and then smiled, “Give you this pie?”

Jay nodded, “Oh yeah.”

Dani sighed, and shuddered just a little, “You are so asking for it. I’m so, so glad you pied me, because it means I can do this.”

Dani slammed the pie into Jay’s face, and smeared the pie all over his hair, and around his face, dragging the pie down his chest and to his cock. She smashed the remaining pie into his crotch before she dropped the tin, and then picked up another pie. While Jay was smiling, and unable to see through the pie in the face he’d just received from Dani, she smashed the full, second pie into his cock and balls, and swirled it around.

Jay moaned loudly, the cream cool and smooth and sensual on his sex.

Anne yelled, “You guys ok in there?”

Dani yelled back, “Go away!”

Jay finally said, “Oh, fuck!”

Dani said, “Yes! Would love to thanks for asking!”

That made Jay laugh, and he opened one eye, the other stuck behind crust.  She’d really nailed him with that pie.

He smiled, “Oh, you really know how to throw a pie! Wow!”

She dragged a finger down his chest and said, “And you really know how to take a pie! Wow! Sexy! I’m so turned on right now, oh my god. And the smell and taste of coconut, oh god, turns me on like crazy.”

Jay wiped his eyes and picked up a pie.  Dani stood straight, and asked in a staged-voice, “What are you doing with that coconut cream pie, Jay?

Jay flipped the pie into Dani’s face and smeared it around in wide circles, creaming her face, ears and hair before crust and cream fell out of the tin and down her body.  He took the tin away from her face, which was engulfed in cream and crust.  She licked her lips, and nodded her head. “This”, Jay said.

Dani exhaled, sending pie from her mouth toward Jay. “A pie in the face!”, she said.

Jay smeared cream down over her shoulders and arms, and then over her breasts.  Dani gasped, and made a happy sound, “Oooh, mmmmmm… ohhhh yeah..”

She licked whipped cream from her lips, and wiped her eyes and looked at Jay, smiling a wide, silly smile. “Do that again!”, she said.

“Again?”, Jay smiled.

Dani nodded her head enthusiastically, and Jay picked up a pie and at short-range, tossed it into Dani’s face, delivering yet again a messy, perfect pie in the face.

“Oh!”, Dani said, and threw her head back, as pie fell to the floor in loud “pop”s, and she smeared cream all over her breasts and hard nipples, and then down her torso to her crotch.

“Again..”, she said, between breaths.

Jay picked up two pies and gave Dani a “pie sandwich”, smearing cream all around her head, covering her hair, and finally dragging pie over her breasts and hands. “Mmunghh”, she groaned.

Jay slid his hands down, and over her clit, and then slid her fingers up and back along her wet, hot, swollen and slick pussy. “Oh my god, you are so wet, you’re so turned on, I love this”.

Breathing heavily, Dani said, “Uh huh.. getting pied turns me on.”

Dani reached-up and kissed Jay, and said, “I need more pie.”

Jay slid his hands back up her body again, smearing cream over her torso, breasts, shoulders and neck, before picking up two more pies.

Dani watched him, and continued to caress her breasts, arms, and body, bathing in the whipped cream and coconut cream.  “Give me those pies!”, she said.

Jay tossed one pie, hitting Dani on the right side of her face and head, sending whipped cream and coconut filling flying in a wave, covering parts of her upper body.  He tossed the other pie, hitting her on the left side of her face and head, sending whipped cream to splatter against more of her bare skin.

Dani licked cream from her mouth, and dropped one hand to her crotch, and began to masturbate with one hand while the other smeared cream and pie all over her breasts and torso.

Jay picked up two more pies and threw them; one squarely into the middle of Dani’s chest, and the other aimed for her belly-button.

Dani was now covered in cream and pie, pieces of crust falling from her and landing at her feet before bouncing off of her thighs and leaving globs and smears of cream.

Jay picked up pie from the floor and smeared it over Dani’s bare skin. He spread whipped and coconut cream all over her body, up her front and down her back, until she was very literally covered with coconut cream pie.  He picked up a pie and planted it on the top of her head, smearing it down over her face. He took another two, and plastered one across her ass, and the other in the middle of her back, and smeared pie all over her body from neck to thighs. Lastly, he picked up a coconut cream pie and slammed it into Dani’s face, creaming her entirely once again. Her hair was engulfed in cream, and her face was under a thick layer of falling crust and whipped cream and coconut cream. The pie fell down from her face, to her body, and finally to the floor.

Dani was now, literally, covered with whipped cream and coconut cream front and back, head to hands and feet.

Dani bent over, nearing an orgasm. Her moans and gasps were louder, more intense, and Jay used his hands on her body where he could, doubling the sensation on her clit or slipping and sliding through thick cream on her breasts.

Covered in white cream from head to feet, Dani leaned her head into Jay’s chest, and with halting, loud groans, finally succumbed to the oncoming tidal wave of an orgasm. She cried out, and Jay fingers followed hers but didn’t stop until she grabbed his wrist and said, “Stop, stop stop stop”.

Dani wrapped her arms around Jay, and pressed her creamed body against his. He responded, and embraced her, pulling her slick creamed body to his, and held her tightly.

“Holy fuck..”, she gasped.

They sunk to the pie-covered floor, toes squishing in pie and crust, knees sliding in pie on the tile.

They held each other tightly, until Dani recovered enough to wipe some pie from her eyes (her face was still ridiculously creamed, and still dripping pieces of pie and crust).  She said, “Your turn”, and slid out of Jay’s embrace toward the pies.

Jay laughed, “OH no you don’t!”, and tackled Dani.

With a happy shriek, she slipped to the pie-covered floor as he climbed over her to get to the pies.  She grabbed his arm, and then thinking quickly, grabbed his cock with her pie-covered hands.

Jay gasped, “Oh, not fair, oooooh..”, and Dani started to stroke him in an expert hand job.  Dani laughed, “Too easy!”

When she stopped so that she could reach for a fresh pie with which to nail Jay, Jay grabbed her around the waist and pulled her backwards.

They wrestled, slick skin from her cream-covered body against a slippery pie-coated floor, arms and legs all over, at various times her tits in his mouth, his cock in hers, and their hands all over the place. After one takedown, Dani ended up on top of Jay, face to face.

They locked eyes, and started making out; kissing in the most intensely passionate, sexy way possible.

They ended up sliding into a position where Dani could slide onto Jay cock any time she wanted. She stroked him as he writhed, and managed to stretch to reach a pie.

She picked up the pie as he said, “Slide onto me!”

Grinning, Dani said, “Yes! Lets fuck until we can’t breathe!”

She slid onto his cock, slowly, and they both gasped. Jay slid his hands up Dani’s creamed body, just in time for a grinning, impish Dani to drop a pie right onto Jay’s face and rub it all over his head, from ear to ear.

She laughed, “Pie in the face!”.  Jay smiled under the pie, immensely turned on by this, and as they fucked he used his hands to caress and squeeze and tease her body. She reached behind and caressed his balls as they had sex, intent on making him cum this time.

Unable to see, the pie all over his face and neck, Jay thrust up into Dani, and teased her clit on every thrust and move. He could hear her gasping and moaning, when all of a sudden she did something to put pressure and friction on his cock, and under his balls.

“Oh no”, he said, “Oh fuck, I’m going to lose control..”

“Yeah? Promise?”, said Dani.

Jay gripped her thighs with his hands, tightly, sliding from the amount of cream on her skin, and about to lose control.

Dani slid off of Jay, but keeping pressure on his balls, and stroking his cock expertly with her hand, kept him on the edge.

Dani said, “Jay? Three… two…”

Jay felt her hands and fingers on his cock, sliding with whipped cream and coconut cream, and arched his back.

Dani said, “One…”

The orgasm his Jay like a tornado, and while Dani kept stroking and applying pressure, Jay came. And came, and came, and came. Dani said, “Oooooh, yes! Oh my!  Mmmm!” but the blood had gone to Jay’s ears, and he was lost in an immense orgasm.

When it was finally over, Jay barely gasped, “Oh my god…”. Dani was smiling, and said, “That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen, you are so fucking sexy. Pied in the face, cream and crust, your hips thrusting, and so much cum! Oh my god!”

Dani fell onto Jay’s body and kissed him, her hands in his creamed hair, his hands up and down her bare back and ass, and into her pie-covered hair.

They kissed, passionately, for a while, until she asked him, “So a pie in the face turns you on too, that’s clear!”

He nodded, “Oh, very much, especially from you, as it turns out.”

She said, “Good!”, and picked up the pie that was sitting next to them. Jay sat up as much as possible, and said, “No no no, wait –”

Dani slammed the pie into Jay’s face and smashed it all over, laughing as she did.

Jay, pied again, smiled, and unable to open his eyes, licked his lips. Dani laughed and said, “I could do this alllll day!”

Jay grinned, “Me too!”

Dani yelled at the door, “Hey Anne!”

Anne yelled back, “What?”

Dani yelled, “Send in more pies!”

She looked down at Jay, “While we wait for more pies, what should we do?”

Jay pulled her down and kissed her, “We make out and have sex in all of this pie!”

Dani sunk into his kiss, “Oh FUCK yes!”

Anne grinned, and walking from the door, said to no one in particular, “Mission accomplished!”



Team Building

He was paired with Julia, from Tech Support, for the corporate-team-building exercise.

The whole company had started the day in seminars before breaking into smaller and smaller groups, until they were paired-up to solve a problem, and use their complementary skills to solve a problem.

Jared and Julia were paired for this challenge, in which they were locked in one of the rooms in the classic, old hotel, and had to work together to find their way out.  It required mutual trust, teamwork, communication, and all of the usual stuff that corporations wants to get out of you.

She walked into the hotel kitchen, and Jared was standing and leaning against a table. The door locked behind her, and she turned as she heard the locks flip. One, two.. threw.. and that was it, they were locked in until they discovered the solution and escaped (and were up for a promotion and a raise), or they failed and had to be let out, losers, and that was it. Nothing for at least a year.

And god, she wanted that promotion and raise.

Jared saw Julia walk in, and looked the other way. He couldn’t get distracted, not now. He wanted a promotion, and a raise, and he didn’t need to watch his office crush stand there with her hands on her hips, that sexy confident pose, and get distracted.

Julia smirked at Jared.  That cocky, arrogant bastard! Yes, he was smart. And yes, he was good looking, but oh, what a know-it-all!  His only redeeming virtues were that he always made sure she had a cup of coffee in the morning, before the pot ran cold, and his fantastic ass, which was always fun to ogle as he walked to his cube in the office.

Jared waved to Julia. Her haircut, the sparkle in her eyes, and the way she carried herself – so confident and easy – always set him off.  She looked at him and cocked one eyebrow and bit her lip. So unfair, he thought that was insanely sexy. He said, “Hey!”.

She nodded, “Hey.”

She walked toward Jared. “So”, she said, “Now what? We solve a puzzle, collect $200, and pass Go?”

He said,”Something like that. Lets do this, and get out so we can reap the rewards. Teamwork, right?”

She smirked, “Yeah, teamwork.”.

‘Oh why him?’, she thought, ‘the smug bastard’. Handsome too. Yeah, well, she’d get them out of this puzzle. She was confident.

He said, “Lets just look for instructions. Hidden around here are tasks, instructions, and clues. You start at that end of the room, I’ll start here.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Yes, I read the instructions, but lets pretend you thought of that all by yourself. Shall we?”

He narrowed his eyes at her, and smirked. “Sorry”, he said, “Just a habit. Everyone in the goddamed office knows you’re smarter than I am; and I’m pretty smart! Didn’t mean to nerd-splain.”

She was taken aback a little. He just admitted she was smarter than he was? That’s sweet, but, she thought, ‘no’. He was one of the sharpest people on the floor. She shook her head, but he was probably right. She moved on from the comment. “And so humble too, huh? Right”, she said, “I’ll let you know what I find.”

“Ditto”, he said.

She wandered in the kitchen, opening drawers, cabinets, looking up, down, anything for a clue.  He did the same, at the opposite end of the kitchen.

She came to a large cabinet with dozens of narrow drawers.  She opened one after another, until she found a piece of yellow legal paper. “Found something!”, she yelled.

He walked over, looking at Julia holding a piece of yellow paper. “What it say?”, he asked.

She read the paper, and said, “You have got to be kidding!”, and handed the paper to Jared, looking at the window across the room and not at Jared.

Jared took the piece of paper, and read it aloud.

“This is not a clue. Take off all of your clothes, and be completely exposed with your teammate as you look for a solution, exposed and down to nature”, he read aloud.

They looked at each other. He said, “Well, wow.”

She sighed, “Well, fuck. Naked, seriously?”

Jared shrugged.

Julia sighed. She really wanted this promotion, and this raise. And, Jared was good looking, so there was that. But, naked? Really?

She looked at Jared and said, “I really, really want this raise and promotion. So don’t get any ideas. It’s professional.”

He nodded, “Yep. Gotcha.”, and watched as Julia stripped off her t-shirt, pants; all of her laundry.

Jared took off his clothes, but she’d beaten him to it. She stood in front of him, completely naked; nude in the absolute, as he pulled his briefs to the floor and stepped out of them.

He was now as naked as she was. Completely without clothes; purely nude. His cock, somewhere between at-rest and raging, bobbing freely. She noticed, and bit her lip.

He looked at her, her hands on her hips, naked and confident, and extremely attractive, so so sexy.  His cock started to wake up. The way she bit her lip was an additional turn-on for him.

She looked at him, up and down. He sure got out of his clothes quickly, he seemed pretty uninhibited! And he was handsome, she thought. Not only a nice face, but he had a nice body. And a gorgeous cock!  This wasn’t so bad after all. And, she got to ogle his ass, which was a bonus.

“Not bad, Jared, not bad!”, she said, nodding.

He smiled, “Oh, sure play to my ego, that will get you everywhere!”

She thought, ‘Oh, he did not just say that!’

Jared said, “Well, back at you. Really nice, Julia.”

The more he looked at her nude body, the harder he was getting, so he started to divert his glance to the room, and to places they could find clues.

She smirked, “Are you getting a hard-on?”, she asked.

He said, “Yes. Next question?”, and he walked to a worktable and started to look in the drawers.

She thought, ‘Mm, nice!’, and was pleased that she had that effect on her.  She said, “I kinda like the idea that I’ve given you a raging boner. Just don’t bump it on anything!”

There was no way she was about to admit the tingle she was feeling as she watched him walk, naked, to look for clues.

He felt great, naked, exposed, and hoped she was looking at him, and he hoped that she was enjoying herself. He turned to look at her, and she quickly averted her glance to look at a stack of cookbooks, opening each, looking for a clue. She turned to survey her next move, and as she did the angle of her body outlined her figure, and the shape of her breast, her nipple perky and evidently stiffened.

“Must be chilly in here”, he muttered.  She heard that, and turned and narrowed her eyes at him. “Stop looking at my tits and go get busy,  Mister Erection.”

She walked across the kitchen, to a long countertop and some storage carts. The counter and carts were stacked with tall, wide, cream pies and heavily frosted cakes.

He opened a drawer and another, when she heard him yell, “Found something!!”

He walked over as she was reading a yellow legal pad, next to a work-counter lined with large pies.

He bit his lip, and stopped in front of her. She was so sexy, perusing the legal pad, her shoulders up, face leaning into the paper. But he wished that she hadn’t had found this pad of paper.

She read the notes on the pad. “Son. Of. A. Bitch!”, she said, and tossed the pad to Jared.

She didn’t wait for Jared to explain, and said, “Read that! Was that you? You set this up? You tricked me to get me nude? I mean, not just nude, I mean, I’m not even wearing shoes that how’s naked I am!”

Jared said, “Uh.. well..”

Julia responded, “No, no, read it!  It says, ‘Make sure to replace the initial challenges with a note to strip naked. It’s a great way to start the challenge. Pray I get Julia as a partner, god what an amazing woman.’ or something to that effect!

Jared said, “Yes, well, uh, actually, it says ‘Julia is an amazing, sexy, woman’, but uh.. well.. you weren’t supposed.. I mean I was supposed to remove these notes before you found them..”

Julia cut him off, “You fucker, you tricked me into being naked!”

Jared looked at Julia, her hands on her hips, bare, and he loved everything about her; her neck, her beautiful face, her amazingly hot body, the angle of her stance as she concentrated, the angle of her hips as she was talking to someone, and the way her hips shifted as she walked. Definitely a crush, and now naked, he was a liar if he wasn’t loving this.

Jared said, “Well, yes. Yes, I did. But I’m naked too, you see, and..”

“Oooh!!”, Julia made fists and punched the air. “You bastard, I only took off my clothes because I thought I had to, for the promotion and raise! You, you.. you bastard!!”

Julia grit her teeth, and looked at the table of pies. Oh, yes! You bastard! Oh, I’ll show you, she thought.

In the heat of the moment, Julia picked up a cream pie, and cocked back her arm.

Jared stood up straight, caught by surprise. “No”, he said, “Wait, Julia, no no, no..”

Julia launched the pie at Jared, and hit him square in the face with the coconut cream pie.

Julia had greatly underestimated the volume of whipped cream and coconut cream contained in the crust of the pie she’d just thrown at Jared.  The pie exploded and splattered with a loud, lovely popping noise, sending a big wave of thick whipped cream over and into Jared’s hair, around his neck and shoulders, over the top of his chest, and in a ring that splashed and splattered behind him, and to the floor and table in the room. His face was completely engulfed in whipped cream and coconut filling, and the crust cracked and stuck to his face, to his forehead, and to both shoulders.

“Mmp!”, he said, his head bobbing backwards as the large coconut cream pie hit him squarely in the face.

Jared froze, the pie stuck to his face, and slowly falling, crust sliding downwards, sledding on a very thick layer of cream. His face was coated in a sheet of whipped cream, his hair splashed and splattered.  Whipped cream and coconut was gathered at his neck and shoulders and chest.

Oh, that pie had a lot more whipped cream and coconut in in than Julia had anticipated!

Julia looked at Jared, her mouth a wide smile of shock.

Jared smiled, the pie moving out of the way of his mouth, his lips creamed with pie, and crust sliding and falling from his chin. He smiled widely as crust slowly slid from his face and bounced off of his chest and forearms, leaving smears of thick, sticky cream.

Julia broke into laughter! “Oh my god!”. Jared gasped a laugh of shock and astonishment, and stood there, pied in the face.

His penis got very hard, very quickly, and was fully erect before a piece of pie fell from his chin, bounced off of his chest, and landed cream-side-down on the top of his hard, fully stiff cock.

Jared waggled a finger at Julia. Smiling, he said (in a muffled voice) “Oh, you did not!”

Julia looked at Jared, completely pied in the face. Her pussy swelled and she was getting very wet. Oh, he looked good. Jared looked so sexy, naked and pied in the face! And, she’d completely, absolutely underestimated the amount of cream in that pie! She didn’t really think of it at the time, because it was pure instinct that made her pick up the pie and throw it right into Jared’s face! But she was still shocked at the immense amount of cream she’d just nailed Jared with! She had really nailed him, the huge amount of whipped cream he was pied with, definitely hilarious, but also almost cruel and merciless! She thought, ‘I’m in trouble now!’, and watched with erotic delight as the piece of pie fell from his face and splattered onto the top of his cock, splattering it with cream.

She was very turned on by his look, completely naked wearing nothing but a pie in the face, and his comic timing, taking the pie and just.. well, taking it!  And now he was so hard, his penis absolutely erect, pointing straight up, and so inviting – he seemed to enjoy getting his with the pie, and that was sexy as hell!

Julia stopped laughing, and bit her lip.

Her laughter turned Jared on, immensely. This whole scenario was fun, but oh god was she going to get it, he thought.

He felt the thick, creamy, heavy pie hit him in the face, and engulf him in whipped cream and coconut cream. She had really nailed him, so merciless, so thorough!  Oh, she was funny, alright; and fun! He was immediately turned on, and was sure his cock was as hard as it’d ever been. Naked, and erect, he felt amazingly good, including wearing a full-on, thick, large pie in the face. He could feel the thick, cream pie around his neck, on the top of his head, in his mouth, and of course engulfing his entire face. It was beyond slapstick, it was a perfect hit with a pie right in his face.

Julia could not take her eyes off of Jared, pied Jared, his face totally and utterly creamed, his hair covered with a sheet of whipped cream, and pie falling down his body, splattering him. She bit her lip and then said, “Oh, you look really sexy!”

Jared finally wiped his eyes of pie, and licked his lips. “Oh, do I?”, he asked.

Julie nodded her head, “Oh yeah! Very, very sexy, not even joking! You really know how to take a pie in the face! I love that you’re just wearing it right now!”.

Smiling, she thought, ‘This is fun!”. She felt her pussy swell, and get crazily wet. This was turning her on, majorly so, and she looked at Jared, pied and naked and beautifully hard.

Blinking at a grinning Julia, Jared licked his lips again. “Mm, coconut!”, he said, “Delicious!”

For some reason, this made Julia shiver just a little. She took a guess and said “You liked getting pied, didn’t you?”

He nodded, pie falling from his chin, “I did. I’ve always wanted to get hit with a pie in the face.”

She felt a frisson of pleasure shoot through her. His admission was fuel to her arousal. She bit her lip, and nodded, “Well, good! I didn’t mean to, I mean I wasn’t planning on it, but I’m very glad I pied you! I, uh, loved nailing you with a pie!”, she laughed again, a nervous, sensual laugh.

He noticed that her nipples were very hard, which was even more sexy to him, and he wanted nothing more than to kiss her. He also noticed again how sexy and beautiful she was, nude, and how beautiful and sexy her pussy was, and how so inviting to his hands, and his tongue; he felt an electric thrill of lust, all of a sudden.

Jared turned to his right, and picked up a large, white sheet-cake. It was reasonably heavy, and it looked to be loaded with a thick layer of white buttercream frosting.

Julia’s raised a finger, “Oh, no, don’t you even think of it!”

“Think of what?”, Jared asked.

“You know what!”, Julia said, smiling. Nervously, and with some anticipation that he really wouldn’t do it, she said “You are not going to throw that cake at me!”

Jared, with surprised quickness, thrust the cake at Julia.  He smashed it into her face, and some cake flew past the sides of her head (smearing frosting over her hair as it did). The cake was large enough to plaster Julia from the top of her head to the bottom of her breasts, and Jared smeared and smashed it all around her face and down her body, to her thighs, before she blindly pushed away his hands and the remains of the cake not stuck to Julia’s skin fell to the floor.

“Oh! Oh-ohhh!”, Julia exclaimed, her hands extended in shock. “You… you caked me!”

Julia was massively, massively turned on. Thick, soft and gooey frosting covered her face, and her sensitive and hard nipples, and was smeared and splattered down her body.

“Oh!!”, she gasped again, and laughed. Her face was completely frosted, only her mouth visible, her lips coated in frosting. She could feel it, sticky and thick on her lips and over her mouth.

Jared was laughing, and said, “Oh, you look amazing. That’s a very sexy look for you!” She was coated in white buttercream, with a few smears of blue and yellow from the colored writing.  “I really, really want you right now! For dessert, I mean!”

She was breathing heavily, and said, “I know what I want!” as she dragged frosting from her eyes, and smeared her hands down her cake-covered breasts and torso.

He perked up, “Oh, god, yes!  What? Anything, yes please!”

Julia picked up a coconut cream pie. “This, this is what I want!”

He said, “Oh. no no no no no no–”

Julia slammed the pie into Jared’s face, and dragged the coconut cream down his chest to his cock, covering him with cool, thick cream, and stroking him a couple of times before saying, “Oh, yes, yes yes yes yes yes! Again!”

He gasped at the sensation of her hand and all of that cream. “Oh, god! Oh, you little, sexy…oh, I want you so much right now!”

She gasped, and engaged in some playful roleplay, “You do? Oh! My! Well I’m sure you’ll know what to do, when you take me!”

Jared wiped cream from his eyes, and picked up a fresh, large coconut cream pie.  Julia blinked at him from a frosting-smeared face, and said, “Oh, no, what are you doing with that pie?! Now wait a minute!”

He laughed, and said, “Oh, you are so getting it.”

She said, “I am? No, I think that you–“, just in time to take a thick, creamy pie in the face. Jared swirled and smashed the pie all over her, from ear to hear, and finally over her head, sending cream and filling to tumble down her body.

Julia was breathing heavily, and reached out to feel for Jared’s body. She found it, and slid her hands to his hard, creamed cock just as he smeared cream all over her breasts, and teased her nipples before sliding a hand down to her clit. As soon as his fingers slid over her button and her labia, teasingly and gently, almost tickling, she gasped and licked cream from her lips.

In response, she slid a creamed hand up and over the top of his cock, and down the shaft and back, making him gasp and twitch his hips.

“Ahaahaha”, she laughed, “Gotcha!”

His fingers slid, and teased, and she gasped and squirmed. Suddenly he kissed her, and their coconut-creamed kiss was so sensual, and passionate, and lascivious, that they both wanted to fuck right then and there, and could have orgasmed just from the kiss and from creamy-slick hands everywhere.  But no, they wanted this to last.

She broke first, and pulled from the kiss, and asked, “What are we doing?”

He smirked, very turned on. “I’m doing this…!”  He slid his face and tongue down her bare, cream-and-frosting-covered neck, down and down, and pausing to lick and tease and suck on a nipple. She moaned, and grabbed the back of his head, “Ungh.. uhhhmm…”

Her passionate, erotic groans lit him up like a furnace, and he fell to her sex, and slowly, deliberately, licked her smooth, wet, caked, creamed clit and labia with his tongue, taking his time, and enjoying every sensation, every taste, every smooth, slick, flick and slide as he teased her, right in the groove of where it would drive her wild. The sounds of her moans and halting groans drove him wild, and made him very happy.

Despite the pleasure she was in, and her desire to just let it all happen and give in to the impending orgasm, Julia reached to her left and picked up a tall and thick pie from the table right next to her.

Despite how good this felt, she really wanted to nail him again, and watch as his face was engulfed in a creamy pie, the crust sliding and falling.

She tapped him on the top of his head to get his attention. He stopped, and looked up at her and asked, “How am I do–“, and stopped as soon as she slammed the cream pie into his face.

Julia broke into laughter, but kept her eyes on the increasingly creamed, pied Jared.

He grinned, and stood up, pie falling from his face, crust lodging on his shoulders before sliding and falling to the floor.

Julia laughed! As turned on as she was, and she was sure that a deft finger on her clit would bring her to cum, she loved how Jared looked with a few pies in the face.

He wiped his eyes, grinning, and blinked at Julia. “You. Didn’t!”.

Julia laughed harder, and clasped her hands together. “I did!”

He continued to wipe his face so he could see, and she ran her hands down his chest, over his torso to his cock, and she cradled his balls in one hand while stroking him with her other hand. “Hmm, this is nice!”, she said.

Jared gasped.

Julie fell to her knees and wrapped her mouth around the top of his cock, and licked his crown, and teased him, tasting cream and coconut filling.

She lost herself in the feeling of his hard, smooth cock in her mouth, his balls in her hands, slippery with whipped cream.

She let her left hand slide down to her clit, and she teased herself as she licked and sucked his cock. She was lost in the experience, slowly licking his hard cock from base to tip when she suddenly felt two pies, one on each side of her head, slam onto her face, thick and cool and creamy, and smeared from ears to nose and back again, around her face.

“Ungh!”, she exclaimed.

Pie-sandwiched, she could not hear well or see at all. She flicked her tongue over his cock as pie fell from her face to land in her crotch and on her thighs, conscious of and aroused by her face and head being cream-coated, and otherwise being completely naked and exposed.

With one hand masturbating herself, and the other on his cock, she was gaining momentum toward cumming, hard.



Happy Birthday

The couple arrived home from dinner, having celebrated her birthday. He embraced her in the middle of the living room, “Happy birthday, lover!”, he smiled, and pulled her close to his body.  He gave her a deep, sensual, loving kiss, which she eagerly returned. She pressed her body closer against his and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back, their lips and tongues teasing and caressing and licking each other’s. He was almost immediately hard, her kisses having that effect on him in record time. And, once, she had an orgasm after they made out in the parking lot of a restaurant – fully clothed. Something about they way they were together, the chemistry, turned them both on mega-watt.

As they kissed, she thought “Oh god, take me to bed already, I’ve wanted to fuck since the middle of the second course!”.  She pressed her body as closely to his as possible, her ample chest squished against him. She dropped one hand to his jeans, and grabbed the bulge she happily found below his belt. Her other hand reached around and squeezed his gorgeous ass.

He grinned, and pressed his hips into her hand. “Ooh, hello!”, she said. He reached around to the back of her dress and dragged the zipper down from the neck to her hips, as far as it would go.

‘It’s about time!’, she thought to herself.

He deftly unclasped her bra, and felt the bare skin of her back, down to her ass, with the palms of his hands, caressing her soft, warm skin while they continued to make out. He was wildly turned on, and thought ‘We’re going all night tonight, I cannot wait to make love to this gorgeous, sexy woman!’.

His hands on her bare skin made her even more excited. She couldn’t wait to get out of her clothes, and to get him out of his. As he pulled the top of her dress below her shoulders, she thought ‘It looks like I avoided the pie! Thank god!”.

She remembered his birthday, and the tradition of her childhood where you celebrated someone’s birthday by hitting them with a pie, or dunking their face into a cake.  She’d purchased a coconut cream pie, made especially for the occasion, and when he least expected it, nailed him right in the face with the thick, creamy and delicious slapstick pie. It was so wildly funny, she laughed so hard she could barely breathe.  He looked hysterical, until he smiled with that creamed, pied face, and her stomach flipped. He suddenly became very, very sexy, smiling and enjoying the prank.  They rushed home and made love all night, in the shower, in the bed, back in the shower, and finally on the bedroom carpet.

He had looked so, so sexy, pied in the face. She looked at him, her mouth open and her eyes fixed on his face that was buried under inches of whipped cream, the crust and coconut slowly sliding and falling from his handsome face, bouncing off of his body and hitting the floor. Cream splattered in his hair, around his neck, just everywhere! His wide grin, laughing and amused; she was so turned on, her pussy so wet and throbbing and her nipples so hard that she was to ready to drop her clothes and jump him right then and there. And he was too; the bulge in his jeans after taking a pie in the face from her; so, so hot!

And so, she was expecting the pie. But, the way he was going, it looked like she’d avoided getting plastered. ‘Good’, she thought, ‘more time for licking, sucking, and fucking!’  She was horny, but she knew that he was just as much, and probably moreso. And she was ambivalent; if he thought she was a hot and sexy with a pie in the face as she thought he was, well then, she wanted it, a pie in the face. She throbbed at the thought!

With her dress now hanging off of her shoulders, he swept his hands downwards, and in one deft, swift move, stripped her of her dress, bra, and underwear. All of her clothes now gathered around her feet, she was now wearing only shoes and earrings.

She gasped. The sudden stripping was one of her favorite things, and now she stood in the middle of their living room absolutely naked, save for her heels.  “Oh my!”, she smiled.

He took a look at her, “Oh my god. What happened? You’re naked.. totally, stark, naked. You’re clothes.. they’re all off! Oh. My. God. So hot! You are so, so sexy.. and look.. I mean, look at you, you’re totally nude. Not a stitch. Shoulders, tits, nipples, clit, pussy, ass, legs, all of you – bare!” He kissed her neck, and ran his hands up and down her body and over her breasts and now very erect nipples.

“Uh huh..” was all she could manage to say. What she wanted to say was ‘Oh my god, YES, fuck me right here and right now!’, but she was almost shivering with lust and anticipation.  And, on her mind was the pie. She was waiting for it, she knew it was coming – a big whipped cream pie in her face. She was ready, even kissing him with her face angled up and her arms behind her back, waiting for the cool, creamy splat in her face. Banana cream? Coconut cream? She knew it was coming. And she thought about him and his face after she’s nailed him; she shivered and felt a thrill as she remembered how sexy and hot he looked with a huge creamy pie in his face!

He embraced her, and kissed her again, deeply and sensually, his hands feeling her bare skin from ass to tits and back, and at once point he lightly dragged his fingers over her clit. She was very, very wet.  She gasped, “Oh!”

She collected herself, and started to unbutton his shirt, “But your clothes are still on. We need to remedy that, you need to be as naked as I am!”.  She stepped out of the dress at her feet, and nude save for heels she got his shirt off while he unbuckled his belt. Once his shirt was on the floor, she dragged his jeans to the floor, and then his briefs.  His hard cock came springing out and wobbled to a stop, completely erect.  She grinned, “Oooh, hello again!”, and groped his smooth balls, smooth shaft and hot, round mushroom-tip, caressing him lightly, smearing some of the slippery pre-cum all over the top of his cock.

He looked at her naked form, her hourglass shape, large round breasts and pert, hard and very erect nipples, her torso and smooth belly, gorgeous round ass, and her gorgeous pussy, waxed and smooth.  He looked up and down from her smooth, strong legs back to her square, sexy shoulders. “Mmm, mm!”, he exclaimed, and she looked at him. Strong chest, very manly and groomed, a flat belly without being a six-pack, his fantastic round ass, and that gorgeous, sexy penis that she could not keep her hands, mouth, or pussy off of.  She loved his forearms, strong and gorgeous!  She loved his hands, all of him!

They embraced each other, naked skin against naked skin, and made out again, enjoying how they felt, bare, against each other. She thought, ‘I definitely avoided the pie! Thank god! But! I would have taken a pie in the face. I’d have been so willing!”

He took her hand and led her to the bedroom, but she didn’t need any leading.  She bolted ahead of him and ran into the bedroom, and embraced him again as soon as he walked it, lifting a leg to his hips in an effort to place her clit right over his cock.

She whispered in his ear, “Do you wanna fuck all night? I do!”, and she licked and nibbled his hear, evoking a shiver and a gasp from him.

“Yes”, he exclaimed, and turned her around so her back was pressed up against his torso.  She felt his hard cock poking into her ass, and she shifted so that it rested between her cheeks. His hands were squeezing and caressing her breasts, and teasing her sensitive, and hard nipples (once challenged, she was able to stack several CDs on an erect nipple!), and kissing her neck and shoulders.   She pressed her ass into his hips, a not so subtle hint for him to fuck her in this position.

With his playing with her tits like this, and her as wet as she was, she was eager to make love, but wanted this foreplay to last as long as possible until they could not stand it any longer and just had to do the fabulous mattress-dancing they did! He moved one hand to her crotch, and started to finger her very slippery, very wet, very hot pussy, focusing on her clit, slowly but oh so good. She gasped, “Oh, yes, oh, don’t stop what you’re doing!”.  With one hand on a breast and one on her clit, she was loving every second of her birthday sex!

He teased and stroked her clit and labia, and her inner thighs, and drifted his other hand from her nipple to her back and ass, caressing and teasing.  He said, “Move your left leg here, and you’re right.. here..”, adjusting her stance. His hand stopped stroking and teasing her clit, and he took her arms and gently placed her hands behind her back. “Aw!”, she said, and he replied, “Oh, I want to use more that just my fingers on your clit. Would you like my tongue?”

“Yes!”, she exclaimed in a loud whisper.

“And my lips? Licking your clit, sucking on your, teasing your labia, and all of your pussy with my teasing, merciless tongue?”, he teased.

“Uh huh…”, she said, “Fuck yes! I love when you go down on me!”

And, she thought, ‘I want to get pied. I so fucking deserve it.’

“Mmmm!” he said, and she felt his fingertips slide from her back, over her ass, and to her feet.

“Well then, I want you to turn around.”, he said.

“Gladly!”, she said, and she turned around to face him.

She barely had time to react; she saw a great big white pie in his hand, and before she could do more than exclaim “Oh my god!”, she felt her face engulfed in something soft, cool, very creamy, and very thick.  The sound was incredible – a loud wet and heavy “PFLOP!” followed by smaller popping noises as pie must have flown and hit the bed and the floor. She could feel cream and pie around her neck, and over her shoulders.

It felt very, very good. And, she was thrilled. She moaned her pleasure at taking the pie in her face; naked!

As she got hit with the pie, she was only able to make a squeaking sound, and closed her eyes at the last second.  She didn’t close her mouth, and she now had a mouthful of coconut cream pie. Her lips were heavy with it, and she couldn’t see.  He must have really got her good.

A few moments after the pie hit her in the face, and stuck before it started to slide, she gasped, and then blew some crust and pie from her mouth. “Ohhhh!!”, she said in shock, and then she smiled a wide, wide smile.

A large piece of crust slid from her cheek and chin, and loaded with coconut cream, bounced off of one of her big round tits, creamed the nipple on the way down, and hit the floor.  Another piece, smaller, fell and bounced off of her forearm.

He started laughing. She nodded her head, her face ridiculously pied like a slapstick goddess. Nodding, she said, “Oh you got me! You got me!”.

She was just about to reach up and remove the crust from her eyes when she felt a pie splat, splatter, and explode over her left breast.  It was very creamy, and not too cold, and very heavy, and it felt incredibly good. She gasped, just in time to feel a pie land and splash and splatter over her right breast.

“Oh no, my tits? Really? You are so licking this off!”, she laughed, her face still covered with the coconut cream pie!  She had to see, so she reached up and cleared her eyes, slowly, as she felt a pie land and be smashed perfectly below her waist, and right over the triangle between her legs, sending coconut cream pie all over her torso, thighs, and pussy.

She jumped from this sensation, and threw her head back and groaned.  A piece of crust that had been sitting on the top of her head fell off of her hair and hit the floor as she moved. “Oh fuck..”, she exclaimed.

Gasping, the sensation of pie between her legs, all over her tits, and engulfing her neck and face (and wrecking her hair, she was sure), she was unexpectedly turned on even more.

He looked at her, smiling, “Oh, my GOD, you look good. You look so, so sexy right now.. I have to have you, birthday girl in the birthday suit covered in birthday pies!  Oh, I so want you!”

She nearly swooned, “You do? I look good?”, she grinned.  She imagined how she must have looked, a great big grin and a creamed-white face, just like his was.

He turned her to face the full length mirrors across the bedroom. She gasped as she saw her otherwise naked body literally covered in coconut cream and whipped cream from the top of her hair to her knees. “OH my GOD!”, she laughed.

She turned around and embrased him, shimmying her body against his, and kissing him. She was trying to get as much pie on his skin as possible!  He kissed back, very into it.

She thought, “Oh my god, he loves this.. oh, this is fucking hot!”, and kissed him harder.

He escaped the kiss and slid downwards, pie-ing himself in his face on her breasts, her torso, and finally her pussy as he licked coconut from her clit, and started to lick, suck, and tease her with his tongue.  She shifted her body and legs so that she could position herself perfectly as he performed on her, reaching down to smear pie all over his face and his mouth, smearing her clit with cream and making him lick her clean, over and over.

She started to feel an orgasm closing in, and moved her hands to slather cream and pie all over her pied breasts, teasing her own nipples as he licked and teased and sucked and started to use his fingers alongside his tongue.

Gasping, and softly moaning more and more intensely and with more passion, the slow oncoming wave of an orgasm kept rolling in.  It was feeling like a huge one, and she smeared and slid her hands on her breasts, until she was so close, she placed her nipples between her middle and ring fingers and squeezed and pulled, over and over as her hands kept sliding off of her creamed tits.

Her orgasm went from a slow, oncoming storm to a sudden, wet downpour with lightening; she made a sound that started as a happy groan and ended in an exuberant scream. He didn’t stop until she grabbed his hair and pulled gently and said, “Stop, oh, stop!”

She fell to the floor with him, and hugged him closely, her pied breasts sliding all over his also-creamed body.

Now on his back, he pulled her on top of him. She dangled her tits over his face, and placed a nipple in his mouth.  She loved the feeling, and he loved sucking, teasing, and playing with her coconut-and-cream flavored nipple. When one was clean, she moved the other over his mouth, and positioned herself right over his cock.  When that nipple was licked clean, she impaled herself on his hard, hot cock.

They both moaned, and they made love as he slathered his hands all over the front of her body while their hips moved, more and more intensely.

She looked at them in the mirror, as they had sex, “Oh god, we look good!”. He was groaning, looking at her as they fucked, his eyes full of love, desire, and lust, his face an expression of sensual, sexual ecstasy.  She grinned at him, and looked at his face, smeared with some cream but not massively pied like hers, and locked eyes as they moved. She was about to close her eyes when she noticed a coconut cream pie just next to the bed, otherwise out of sight.

“Oh fuck yes!”, she exclaimed, and slid off of him in order to reach the pie.

“What..?”, he said, confused.

She picked up the coconut cream pie, “Pie in the face, sexy motherfucker!”, and grinning a huge grin, slammed the pie into his face as he was on the ground, and smashed it all over his face and head in wide circles, finally lifting the tin.

“OH god!”, he said, muffled from the pie all over his mouth.  She laughed, and got back on top of him, and slid back onto his cock.  He groaned again, and pulled crust from his left eye.

They increased their speed, and were passionately, relentlessly, having sex, and he felt his own orgasm approaching rapidly. She’d pied him!  With such enthusiasm, and so eager, it was insanely sexy! He groaned more loudly, and she encouraged him to cum.

he moved his thumb to her clit, and teased her as they fucked.

“Oh no, oh god, no, no, this is your turn!”, she said, but did nothing to move his hand.

He finally arched, and tensed, and groaned so loudly it was almost a scream, and she kept riding him until she groaned as well, and grabbed his hand to stop him from teasing her clit anymore. They kept moving, until finally, he begged her to stop, and she collapsed on top of him, burying her face in his neck, pieing herself again in the process.

Laughing, he gasped, “Happy birthday, love! Oh lord, that was amazing. You’re amazing!”

He pulled pie from his eyes and nose.

She took a deep breath and shivered, “Happy birthday and happy birthday fuck!  Oh my god you pied me and fucked me, god that was so so so good! I can’t believe how good that was!”

“Uh huh”, was all he could muster.

After a while, she said, “Whose birthday is it next week?”, and smirked at him.

He said, “How about both of us?”

She asked, “Are we going to have cake or pie?”

He said, “How about both?”

She leaned up and over to kiss him, “Ok!”


The Fan

I’d just taken the great big pie in the face, standing stage-right, and performed my slow-burn, and slow take before wiping my eyes. Smiling – I always smiled at the end of the pie in the face gag, involuntarily – I looked at the front row of the audience and there she was, again. The short Korean woman, looking at me and grinning. She had been in every audience for weeks, but for the last three shows instead of sitting back in row M or Z or wherever, she was in the front row.

This time, as soon as I wiped my eyes of the shaving cream stage pie, I saw her, grinning up at me. I was smiling as I looked at her, and we locked eyes for a moment.  She waved at me, a happy ‘hello!’, but I couldn’t respond. Instead, I had to do my part, and I picked up a large shaving cream pie and I creamed the actor next to me, a short brunette in glasses playing an “innocent bystander”, who did her usual comedy-take and slow burn.

The cute Korean woman in the front row covered her mouth, laughing, and clearly delighted.

Once I got backstage, and with a towel in had to wipe my face, a stage hand told me, “Hey, J, a fan’s here to see you.”

I looked up as I wiped the last of the thick shaving cream my my eyes. It was the short, curvy Korean woman. She was smiling. And wow, what a cute smile! She was wearing hoop earrings, and a skin-tight red dress.

“Hey!”, I said, putting forth my hand, “I’m J.” She took my hand and shook it. “I know,”, she said, “I’m K. Like Men in Black!”, she said, and laughed.

I nodded, “Yeah, kinda, right?”

She nodded, and said, “But more like men in white, in your case, huh?”

I smiled, “Definitely!”

She stood very close to me, and said, “Thanks for seeing me. I’m kind of a fan.”

I said, “I noticed! I’ve seen you in the audience every week! I’m glad you like the show.”

She said, “Well, I do like the show! But I really like to see you get the pie in the face. You’re really good at it!”.

I laughed, “So you show up every week to see me get pied?”

She nodded and laughed, “Yes! Every week! I love it, you’re so good! You really know how to take a pie in the face!”

I couldn’t help but to smile, and laugh. “Thanks! I’m definitely glad you appreciate it! Thanks for coming!”

She stepped even closer to me, and put her hands on my arms. “Well,”, she said, “You’re welcome. As long as you keep getting pied, I’ll keep buying a ticket!”

I looked down into her eyes. She was five-two, maybe, and had a great subtly-hourglass figure. And she didn’t seem to stop smiling, which was increasingly attractive! I asked, “So, ok, you have to tell me – what is it about my getting pied that keeps you coming?”

She looked at me, and in a softer voice said, “Oh, you’re very sexy! But when you get a pie in the face? There’s something about your reaction that just gets me. I can’t explain, I just like it”.  And then she laughed again, I think from embarrassment.

“Thanks!”, I said. She looked up at me, again, and said, “I mean the way you take a pie in the face, it’s so fun, and that’s so sexy, fun I mean. And I think you’re really cute when you smile after you get pied.”

I nodded, “Thanks again! It is fun, and I’m glad you picked up on that. I love that you think I’m cute after a pie in the face. I like that!”

“Oh yeah, cute.”, she nodded back. “So are those shaving cream pies you guys use?”, she asked.

“Yep”, I said, “that’s how we make them so big.”

She made a face, “But that tastes terrible! Wouldn’t it be better to use real pies? Or whipped cream or something tasty?”

I replied, “It would, it’d be a lot better. I can ask the props people if they have any ideas, but they like the shaving cream because it’s easy to clean up and get off of the costumes. Maybe the answer is we just don’t wear costumes!”

She put her hand over her mouth and laughed, and pressed her hand against my arm and said, conspiratorially, “Oh that would be much better!”

I laughed and said, “I love the way you think!”, and she nodded back at me, “Thanks, you too. I think we think alike!”

I said, “Hey, I need to clean up and change, can you wait here? Lets go grab a drink and keep talking!”. She nodded and said, “Ok! Yes lets.”

I did just that, and got into my black jeans, black tee, and leather jacket. She was waiting for me just outside of the green room, and we walked a few blocks up to a quiet, dark bar.

I ordered two Vesper martinis, and we stood close to each other, sipping and talked.

“So”, she said, “You really do look like you are having fun up there. Are you really, or is that just acting?”  I replied, “I really am having fun. When I smile or crack-up, I’m breaking character!”

She looked at me and asked, “So you really do think getting a pie in the face is fun? That’s not just acting?”

I shook my head, “Not just acting. It’s really fun. Have you ever tried it?”

She immediately laughed and shook her head, “No I haven’t! Oh my god, no!”

“Oh, you should sometime! It’s a blast.”

She kept laughing, and when she recovered a bit, she said, “Well actually I’d like to, someday!” She had a sip of her martini, “But a real pie so I can lick my lips.”

“Good choice.”, I said.

She asked, “Do you have as much fun giving the other actor her pie in the face?”, and she was referring to the moment after I get pied, where I pick up a pie and let the actor next to me playing an innocent bystander, an oversized pie in the face.  I said, “Oh yeah! That’s just as fun, and she takes it so well.”

K nodded, “She does! Do you have a preference?”, she was looking up at me, waiting for my reply. I said, “Well, I love getting pied, so there’s that. But also, giving someone the pie is a hell of a lot of fun. Hmm. I’m not sure, do you? Have a preference?”

She nodded, “I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure I’d rather give you a pie in the face than the other way around! My preference is to see you pied!”

I smiled and said, “Good to know! Out of costume, I assume?”

She laughed again and said, “Preferably! Have you ever had to do a nude scene?”

I shook my head, “No, I haven’t. Why, would you like me to?”

She nodded a bit coyly and said, “Yesss…”, and laughed again.

I said, “Well, the feeling is mutual. I’d prefer you to be out of costume as well, if we ever got into a slapstick scene together.”

She pressed up against me, and looked at me and said, “I’d like that!”.

I leaned in and kissed her, and she returned my kiss very eagerly.

She pressed her body more into mine, and said, “That was nice! Maybe you can come over and teach me a slapstick scene? It’s ok if it’s a nude scene, I’m very ok with that!”

I smiled, “Are you trying to get me out of my clothes, K?”

She grinned, “Yessss…”. I put my hand on her arm. Her skin was very soft, and I found myself caressing her ever so slightly.

She put her glass on the bar, and then wrapped her arms around my neck. “Yes, I am. And, um, can I give you a pie in the face too?”

I replied, “Oh hell yeah!”, which was immediately answered by another eager, warm and excellent kiss.

She asked, “Have you ever kissed anyone and pressed close to them and it feels so good that every ounce of you is begging to get out of all of your clothes?”, and I replied, “Oh, yes, yes I have.” She said, quietly, “Good because that’s how I feel right now.”

She invited me to her place, a condo in a high-rise a few blocks away. Once we got there, we kicked off our shoes at the door.

After another short but eager and intense make-out session in the hallway just after we closed the door, she gave me a tour of the place. A spacious, modern apartment, and fairly new. She narrated, “Living space, dining area, bathroom, a big big shower that should be plenty of room for both of us!, bedroom – I hope to be seeing a lot of you in there!”

When we got to the kitchen, I noticed two large cans of pastry cream, commercial-size, on the marble counter. I asked, “Been shopping lately?”

She nodded, “I was doing research, but I have no idea what I’m doing.”  I said, “Oh, I can help. What did you buy?”

She’d purchased all of the ingredients to make several large, and quite gooey, pies.

I grinned, “You take your slapstick research seriously!”

She wrapped her arms around my neck again, and pressed her body up against mine from hips to chest and said, “I do, and from the first time I saw you take that great big pie in the face and then smile and have fun I had the biggest crush…”

We kissed again, and I reached behind her and started to pull the zipper of her dress. “What are you doing?”, she asked.  I replied, “Helping you get out of all of your clothes.”.  She kissed me and then said, “Help faster.”

I pulled the zipper all of the way down, and she peeled out of her dress.  She also peeled off her underwear, and now stark naked, started to remove my clothes from me.

Once I was as naked as she was, she threw her arms around me again, said, “Nude scene.”, and abruptly kissed me.

This time, we kissed for a long while, until finally she said, “Wanna help me make some pies?”

I nodded, “Lets see what you have!”

We walked to the kitchen, and I collected all of the ingredients.  While she watched, I explained. “Ok, I see you baked the pastry crusts, nice work!  Four crusts, that’s good. Now, we take a half of a thing of cream cheese and some of the marshmallow fluff, and we blend it together to make a base.” I blended until we had a supremely thick and sticky base. “Now”, I continued, “we gently fold in the whipped topping.. like so, until we get a nice, very sticky, topping for the pie.

Grinning, she nodded, and stuck her finger into the finished product. It came out coated in topping, leaving a long gooey trail into the bowl. Laughing, she said, “Wow! Are you sure you’re OK taking a pie in the face with this? Really?”

I nodded, “From you? Oh more than OK. And you haven’t seen anything yet!”

She laughed, and leaned into me again. Her soft warm skin against mine was a pure pleasure. She nuzzled me and said, “You are so sexy”, and kept her hands on my skin, up and down my chest and arms.

I kept creating the sticky pie topping, and loading it into the staging bowl, a large steel kitchen bowl. Once I was done, I continued the explanation. “Ok, so now, we take the crusts out of the tins. They should be nice and stable. Next, we fill them with the pastry cream”.  I dished out the thick, gooey pastry cream with the aid of a wooden spoon, and semi-poured semi-spooned the pastry cream into the shells.

“Oh my god it’s so gooey!”, she laughed, “You’re amazing, do you know that?”

I said, “And now, the topping.. we just load these up until the look good.”  I topped off all four pies with peaky, sticky topping until we had four very large, ridiculously tall, pastry cream and marshmallow-whipped-topping pies.

She said, “Oh my god! Look at these! Oh! Wait, be right back!”, and she dashed off up the hallway. I watched her naked body every moment of the way.  She returned with some bedsheets, which we placed on the floor.

“I can’t believe this, this is like a huge fantasy for me!”, and she picked up a pie with both of her hands.  “Oh, it’s heavy!”, she said, weighing the tall, white pie up and down in her hands.

She looked at me, her face a vision of glee. “I want to give you a pie in the face!”

“You do?”, I asked.

“Yes, it’s my fantasy!”, she said.

I placed my hands under hers, and tried to pull the pie toward me into my hands, “No, no, I think I should hold this pie for a second, and then I’ll give it back to you!”

Laughing, she replied, “No! Oh no no! I know that trick, let go!”

I said, “I can’t grab the edge, it’s all crust, I need to get at it from the bottom.” She pulled the pie back towards her.

And as soon as she did, I pulled it back toward me, using my hands to pull hers. “Nah, I’d better hold it, for sure.”  Laughing, she said, “Stop that!”, and pulled it back toward her again, my hands still beneath hers. I said, “It’s absolutely OK! I’m happy to receive a pie in the face if you want to pie me! But I just want to hold it first to get an idea of how heavy it is!”

“Suuuure you do!”, she said skeptically, and I pulled the pie once again toward me. She pulled back, and I held on to her hands. She exerted more force in her pull, and I held her hands in place. Laughing she said, “Let go!”.

I let go quickly, and the sudden lack of force from my end startled her and she staggered backwards, losing her balance slightly but still with both hands under the pie.

As she was off-balance, I took my hand beneath hers and, using her already backwards momentum, flipped the pie directly onto her face. It landed, full-face, with a loud pie-in-the-face noise, and sent a ring of sticky topping and pastry cream around her neck, shoulders, and over the top of her head and her soft, black hair. The hair siding her face was creamed. I pressed the crust into her face and around the sides from ear to ear, making sure she was really pied but good. A large piece of crust and pastry cream, and some topping, fell from her chin to land on one breast, sliding in a gooey trail until it fell off and hit the floor. Another piece of crust slid from the right side of her face, also in a long gooey white trail, and fell on her shoulder before bouncing off of her breast and to the floor, landing on her foot.

I laughed!

Stunned, she leaned forward and tilted her head downward, allowing more crust to fall and slide leaving long, gooey trails of pie. Laughing deeply, she stayed in this position, very pied until she got ahold of herself. Finally, she opened her right eye (her left eye was stuck under a piece of crust), and as whipped topping and pastry cream slid and flowed from her head down to various parts of her bare skin and to the floor, training gooey filling and topping, she looked at me with smiling surprise, “Oh you bastard!”

I admired my work, “Oh! Oh, you look hot! I see what you mean, this is a very sexy look!”

She shook her head, and more pie fell. “That wasn’t supposed to happen! I was supposed to give you a pie in the face! Not me!”

She straightened upright, but didn’t remove any pie from her face. Smiling, she just looked at me and shook her head. I asked, “How was your first pie in the face?”

She licked her lips, and then said, “A surprise!”, and she flicked a piece of pie from her hands at me.

I asked, “Did you like it? You really took a pie in the face so well!”

She once again wrapped her arms around my neck, and said “Yessss… I did…”, and kissed me, getting pie smeared on my face.

When she was done kissing me, she turned and picked up a pie. Turning back to me, she grinned. I said, “So, now, I’ll walk you through some slapstick. There’s usually a skit we can…”, and I stopped there because she quickly gave me a thorough pie in the face, using both hands to smear the pie all over my head, from ear to ear, back to front, and smearing pastry cream and topping all over my neck and chest, and then down to my crotch, where I’d been up at attention for most of the evening. Topping was heavy around my head, and on my neck, and pastry cream and crust oozed and fell from my head, bouncing off of my chest before hitting the floor. One large piece of crust and pie landed cream-side-down onto the top of my erection.

Instead of laughter, which I’d expected, she said, “Oh my god! Oh my god you look good, oh you sexy sexy man!”, and I could feel her hands smearing pie all over my naked skin, down my chest and torso before grabbing my hard sex and smearing cream all over me in a stroking gesture, with both of her hands.

I smiled, and opened my eyes (barely) and looked at her. She was looking at me, mouth open, her face still totally creamed with the pie I gave her, and she leaned in once again to kiss me.

We kissed for a long while, smearing pie all over each other, when she suddenly stopped, put her fingers on my lips, and said, “Wait.”.

She abruptly turned around, picked up a pie, and smiling a wide, wide smile, smooshed the pie right into my face. As she smeared pie all over my head, much of the cream and filing cascading down and landing all over the both of us (one large piece bounced off of me and landed, cream-side-down, directly onto her left nipple).

I couldn’t see a thing! “Hey!”, I exclaimed, and laughed. I felt the heavy, cool pie all over my face, neck, shoulders, and chest. She said, “Oh you are so fucking sexy, damn!”, and wrapped herself around me once again as we embraced, squishing and sticking in various pied locations, and enjoying an eager, deep, passionate kiss.

We kissed for a while, and when we came up for air (so to speak), I wiped both of my eyes and smiled at her. “Oh, you know how to deliver a pie!”

Smiling as well, she said “Thank you! I’ve been watching the best for weeks! Oh, I’ve been dying to do this to you. So bonus that we’re naked!”

I walked to the last pie, but she darted in front of me and picked it up. She asked, “Were you going for this pie?”

I locked eyes with her and said, “Yes, yes I was!”

She said, “So you want this pieeeee?”, in a somewhat teasing manner. Very cute!

I nodded, “Yep! Give it here!”

Grinning, and still covered with the pie in the face I’d give her though now both eyes were clear (her black hair ringed and splattered with a lot of pie, crust still stuck to her head in places), she said, “Give you this pie?”

“Yes!”, I replied.

“You really want this pie? Really really?”, she asked, taking a step forward, pie in hand.

I nodded, “Oh, yes. That’s what I was going for, that pie, so I could pick it up and we could experience another pie in the face!”

She laughed, “Another pie in the face? Really? With this pie? You want another pie in the face?”

I said, “Yes! Who doesn’t love the great big creamy pie in the face gag?”

“Are you suuuuure?”, she sing-songed.

I nodded, “Oh yes. Give me that pie! You’re gonna get it!”

Laughing, she said, “Okaaaaayy! Heeere’s the pieeee!”, again in that singy voice.

I took the last pie in the face like a champ, an expert slapstick take as I stood there and let her smash the pie all around my face and head. This time, she laughed and said, “But you’re gonna get it! Oh I am really really enjoying this!”

When she was done plastering me in my face with the big pie, she was back to caressing my chest and shoulders, and I slowly wiped my eyes and flicked pie at her. She squeaked and flinched, and then practically jumped on top of me, kissing me. I slowly pulled us both to the pie-splashed sheets on the floor, where we now fade to black and you can use your imagination as to what happened next.









The Trance

There was a knock at the door between their adjoining hotel rooms.  He checked the time on the digital clock next to the bed. One-thirty in the morning.

The adjoining room was occupied by his co-worker, another executive from the company on the trip for the conference. Over the past year, they’d become friendly, and close, and although professional, they’d had an on-again-off-again flirtation going.

So, he thought, this must be a booty-call.  “Hell, yes.”, he said out loud, and threw the covers off of himself and leapt out of bed.  Naked (he always slept naked), he walked to the door, and opened it just as she was knocking once more.

She wasn’t the only one to get an eyeful.  She stood at the doorway, also nude.

“Well, hello!”, he exclaimed.

She looked past him, her eyes fixed on some faraway point in space.

He waved his hand in front of her face, slowly. “Hello?”

She didn’t waver. He said, “Sleepwalking, huh? Well, why don’t you come in my room, with me?”

Her eyes still focused on some distant point in space, she replied with only one word. “Pie.”, she said, somewhat dreamily.

“Pie?”, he asked.

“Pie.”, once again, her voice dreamlike and musical.

“OK, uh, pie.”, he replied.

Slowly, once again she said, “Pie.”

He looked at her, up and down, and getting increasingly aroused at her fantastic figure he thought that he’d better not argue, and see where she took him with this. Or, where he could take her.

He replied, “Pie. Ok, Pie. I get it, you like pie.”

In her trance-like state, she nodded and said, “Pie. Like pie.”

He nodded back, “Sure, yes. I like pie.  You, uh, like pie too? I guess you do!”

She nodded again, slowly. “Pie. Love pie.”

Somewhat baffled now, he said, “Mm, me too. Love pie.  Why don’t you come into my room? Maybe there’s pie?”, he shrugged.

Man, that’s bad, he thought.  But she didn’t change her tranced expression, and nodded slowly and said, dreamy-voices, “Pie…”

He shrugged. “Yes. Yes, OK, pie.  Mmm, pie!”, and he nodded.

For the first time since she knocked at the door and stood there, standing naked and staring into the distance, she moved, reaching to her right for something on the table.

“Pie?”, she asked, slowly.

“Sure”, he said, “Yes. Why not? Pie!”

“Pie!”, she exclaimed, as if a trance had an exclamation point, and she brought whatever it was she’d reached for into view, in front of her.

She was holding a very big coconut cream pie.

“Wow”, he said, “pie!”.  What in the world was going on?, he thought.

She nodded again, and said, “Pie!” and enunciated the ‘P’.

He started to say, “Yep, I can see that..”, but didn’t get far because she suddenly flipped the pie forward and into his face with a loud ‘pop’, like the sound of dropping a cardboard box on the floor.

The sudden shock of a huge coconut cream pie in the face stunned him. He managed to exclaim “Oh!”, just as she started to smear the pie all over his face. She took the tin away, leaving broken crust, vanilla pastry cream filling, and great amounts of thick marshmallow-whipped-cream topping to cover his face, half of the top of his head, and falling to his shoulders, chest, and finally to the top of his erect cock.

Gasping, and very surprised, he finally gathered his senses and said, “What the! A pie in the face!”

Dreamily, she said, “Pie in the face”.

It’s amazing how much mess one large, well-constructed pie can make.  He opened his eyes, and wiped at least some pie from his right eye, and looked at himself in the wall mirror, across his room. His entire face was a sheet of gooey pie, and large pieces of cracked crust were either stuck in place or slowly sliding off of him, leaving white gooey sploshes on his body before hitting the carpet.  There was so much pastry cream filling and cream topping on the now-wrecked pie, that it covered his neck and shoulders in a thick ring, and the piece that had hit his hard-on layered it with a thick, gooey glob of white.

Laughing a little, and now smiling at the ridiculousness and sexiness of all of this, he asked, “Why did you do that?”.

Still entranced, she said, “Must throw pie.”

He chuckled, and liked sweet vanilla from his lip. “Ha! Ok, must throw pie, huh?”

He walked past her and into her room. “Got any more of those things laying around?”, he asked.  And, to his delight, on the table in her room were several more of the large, overloaded coconut cream pies.

“Oh, yeah. Oh, you are so fucked…”, he said outloud.  He picked up a pie, and turned to face her.  Still in her trance, and looking off into the distance, she said, “Pie. Must throw pie.” And she mimed throwing a pie at him again, empty-handed.”

“Must throw pie?”, he asked, delighted.

She was still miming the throwing of a pie, and she repeated, “Must.. throw… pie…”

“You know, I really really must.”, he replied.

He launched the pie he was holding right into her face. It hit with a loud ‘pop’ also, and sent a wave of thick cream over the top of her head, over each shoulder and around her neck.  The splashing wave of pie that coated her neck also sent cream and filling across the tops of her breasts and down, crust falling and leaving gooey globs and trails all across her chest, creaming one now-erect nipple. The left half of her face was engulfed in the pie and crust, which stuck, while the right was splashed with cream and filling, totally wrapping her entire face from ear to ear.

And again, it was truly amazing the enormous mess one big pie could do. She was pied, creamed, from the top of the brown hair on her head to her shoulders and chest, and everything in between.  Pieces of crust fell and bounced off of arms, shoulders, and breasts and left sploshes of pie and cream wherever they landed.

Getting pied lifted her from her trance.  She laughed, and then gasped, and then raised her hands in surprise. “What just happened?”, she exclaimed.

He laughed.  He really laughed at this sexy woman who’d just taken a truly epic pie in the face. “You tell me!”, he finally said when he recovered from laughter.

Between gasps and smiling laughing, she said, “What? I don’t know! I was just.. dreaming, about pies, and then, I dreamt you had some pie! And then I don’t know, I just, all of a sudden I was awoken with, oh no! Look at me! I was awoken with a pie in my face! That did not just happen! Oh my good, look at me!”

She opened her eyes and looked at him, her mouth agape, a shocked expression of disbelief on her face.

He stood there, pied as well, his hands on his hips.  She smiled, and laughed, and smeared cream and vanilla cream all over her chest and breasts. “Oh, it’s all over! It wont come off! Oh, my!”

“You look amazingly hot”, he said, watching her performance.

She looked at him, and bit her lip, and nodded, “Oh, so do you. You look extremely sexy pied. Wearing nothing but a pie in the face.” She walked up to him and groped him from his balls to his face.  He groped her back, caressing her from creamed shoulders, over her breasts, and delicately down to her clit.

They both gasped with the sudden thrill of pleasure from each other’s touch.

“Did you enjoy doing that to me? Giving me a pie in the face? Naked, I might add?”, he asked.

She nodded, “I dreamt that I did, very very much. So I must have. But I don’t really remember.”

She took her hands from him, and turned to pick up a pie.

“Wait!”, he said.

She said, “I’m pretty sure I loved it though. Lets make sure.”

“No!”, he exclaimed, but she let him have it anyway.

Laughing, she really creamed him this time.  She smushed the pie all around his face, and then down his body to his hard cock, which she made sure was thoroughly coated with the thick filling and topping.

She let the tin go.  Pie was cascading off of him, and she used her hands to smear it all over his body from his shoulders, over his chest and abs, and all around his cock and balls. Grinning, she looked at him.  He opened one eye and said, “Oh my god!”

She cracked up laughing, but was able to say, “Yes! Yes yes yes, I enjoyed that very much! I loved it!”

He wiped his eyes, “Oh my god!”, he said again. If one pie was extraordinarily messy, then two was an epic.  He was pied, creamed, coated, gooey and white from face to hips.

She giggled, “You’re so covered! You are so sexy, smiling like that when you just got so incredibly pied!”

“Oh, I got pied, alright.”, he said.

She bit her lip again, and still cream-covered herself, walked back to him and smeared the cream on his skin. “Oh you sure did!”, she said.

He picked up a pie, the last one on the table. “Oh, no no no no..” she said, backing away.

Too late. He smashed the last, immense pie, in her face, and this time smeared it in circles all around her head.  This time he coated her hair, each ear, and after taking the pie away from her face in thick, gooey strands and waves of pie, took two handfuls of pie and smeared pastry cream and marshmallow cream topping all over her neck, each breast, coated each erect nipple, and then down her stomach and over her thighs, finally smearing some cool cream on top of her clit.

She gasped, and ran her hands all up and down her own body, not only enjoying the sensation of the pies on her skin but also teasing him with her performance. “Oh my god”, it was her turn to exclaim.

She tossed her pied-face back and licked her lips. She groaned, each hand on a breast, and finally said, “You pied me!”

“Oh, I did. And oh, I loved it.”, he confirmed.

“You did? You loved it?”, she asked, lowering her head and looking at him with eyes peeking out from a completely pied face.

He nodded, and walked up to her and pulled her to him. Now embraced body-to-body, he replied, “Oh, hell yes, loved that.  I could do that to you every day.”

She grinned, “You could?”

He nodded, “Oh yes.”

She said, “Mmmm, please do.”

He then said, “And, I loved getting pied by you. That was unexpected, and very erotic.”

She groaned happily, and said, “Oh say that again. You loved it?”

He nodded. “A pie in the face? Yeah, I loved getting a pie in the face from you. It lead to this!”

She suddenly kissed him, hard, and passionately. “God that’s hot. Say it again. Say ‘give me a pie in the face'”

Grinning, he reached down to tease between her legs. She closed her eyes and groaned again, and he said. “Give me a pie in the face. Stark. Naked.”

She kissed him again. “Stark naked”, she said before kissing him deeply again. Their messy bodies squishing and sliding against each other, their hands everywhere on each other, they finally slid to the floor and continued kissing, caressing, and teasing.

She ended up on top of him, and resting her weight on his hands, said, “I need to fuck you, sexy pie in the face man.”.

And, she did. Twice.



A quick vignette

We headed back to her place after a great night of conversation and laughing. We’d hit it off on all levels, and neither of us wanted to let the evening go.

“Go have a seat on the couch, I’m going to change into something else.”, she said, placing her palm on my face and smiling before turning to head off to the bathroom.

A few moments later, she walked back into the living room – absolutely stunning!

She was wearing small, red panties, and a red silk lingerie top that was a rectangle of silk hung on two thin straps and tied around her back in another thin strap. The thin silk covered a few inches of her breasts, showing off a lot of “underboob” and “sideboob”. She she walked, she could jiggle very noticeably when she wanted to. I could see the outline of her nipples through the silk, which was only large enough to barely cover them. If she raised her arms I imagined that the silk would slide right up and she’d flash me.

She was grinning at my expression. “Wow”, I said, “You look beautiful!”

“Thanks!”, she said.

Olive skin, bare from her feet to the panties, and then bare again from her hips to just where the silk barely covered the bottom of her nipples. Then again bare from mid-breasts on up.  Her short dark-brown hair was pulled back behind one ear on one side. Soft, sensual lips around a wide smile, and big brown eyes, I always thought she was gorgeous!

The lingerie made the most of her hourglass shape, great ass that curved to a proportional waist, and then up to her very large breasts. Round, shapely, and wonderfully distracting!

I asked, “You look comfortable! Do you sleep in that?”

She shook her head and joined me on the couch, all soft olive skin and smiles, and just enough wiggle to distract me again.  “No”, she said, “I don’t wear anything to bed.”

“Oh, nude sleeper, huh?”, I asked.

She nodded, “Oh yeah. It’s the only way.”

I said, “Me too. Always.”

“Oh!”, she grinned again, “I’m not surprised! We should sleep together sometime.”

I laughed, “We should. Two nudies under the sheets!”

She nodded, “Uh huh!”

I kicked off my shoes and socks. She said, “Well don’t stop there…”

I said, “Oh, really? What, you want a naked man running around your apartment?”

She snorted, “If we’re talking about you, then yeah!”

“I’m flattered!”, I said. “But seriously, you’d enjoy just hanging out and ogling me while I’m naked?”

She said, “Is that a trick question? Yes, yes I would!”

“I’ll keep that in mind, then!”, I grinned.

“Please do.”, she said.

“You’d have to get naked first, I think”, I said, “and then I’d be definitely obliged. There’d be no choice, in my mind, for me then.”

“Oh, that’s so not a problem. For me, I mean. Do you think you could handle me if I was totally nude?”

I said, “Oh yes. But I know I’d be incredibly distracted.”

She smiled, “Oh now there’s a reason for me to get naked. Just distracted? Nothing else?”

“Ha!”, I laughed, “You know what else.”

“We’d just have to see, then. I’d better have a hell of an effect on you!”, she said.

“Oh, you would. You already are.”

“Pitching a tent in those pants, are you?”

I smirked, “Maybe.”

She grinned, “Good!”

I looked at her, up and down, again. That olive skin, her large-chest barely covered with silk and her nipples poking at the fabric was too good.

I said, “But I’m actually a bit surprised that you’d be into my being naked. You struck me as a sensualist, but not as a voyeur, or a ‘visual’ kind.”

She said, “Really? Oh! Well! Yeah, I’m very visual, definitely sensual. Definitely. Visual is a sense, but I’m really into touch, and talk, and tongues. But visual definitely. I’ve imagined you with your clothes off before!”

“Really?!”, I said.

She put her hand on my leg, “Oh come on!  You know I’ve had the biggest crush on you for months, right?”

“Oh? Tell me!”

She blushed a bit, and kept her hand on my leg, and I placed my hand on hers. Oh, so smooth soft skin. My fingers lightly caressed. She said, “There’s not much to tell! I’m turned on by intelligence, you’re handsome as fuck, mature, and damn you have a great ass. I bet you have a great penis as well. You’re funny. And once you said something that really got my attention and I kind of melted!”

I caressed a wider area of skin, and she sat closer. She smelled of lovely, expensive perfume and good lavender soap. She unbuttoned my shirt and lightly caressed my chest as we talked. As she moved closer to me on the couch, her lingerie top shifted for a moment, and exposed the bottom half of her nipples. I felt a thrill go down my spine.

“What was it that I said?”, I asked.

“Well”, she explained, “more what you did as well as what you said. Remember the office birthday thing we had for whatshername in finance?”

I nodded.

“Remember the table of cupcakes, and a birthday cake and the pies? Coconut cream or something?”

“Yep, I remember. And, uh, banana cream pie, chocolate cream pie, and coconut cream pie I think? But yes. And cookies, a zillion cookies.”

“Right!”, she said, “Well. So we were standing there, and I caught you looking at me.”

“Yes”, I said, “I have always thought you’re stunning. I had to watch out for the HR violations, but yeah, I’d always noticed you.”

“I know”, she smiled. “Anyway, so what got me was, we were at the table, talking, just us because everyone else was already gathered to sing or whatever, and you looked at me. I was going to say something but I was too much of a goob to say anything because I have such a crush.. anyway, so you didn’t say anything, but you mimed picking up a pie and smashing it in my face!”

I laughed, “Oh, right! Sorry!”

“No, don’t be sorry! I thought it was funny!”

“You looked shocked, if I remember”

“Yeah, but in a good way”, she said.

I said, “I remember you thanked me, sarcastically.”

She nodded, “Right! Maybe not so sarcastically by the way. But yeah I was like ‘Oh, thanks!” and then you said, “No problem there’s more where that came from”, and pointed to the other stuff on the table.

I smiled, “It was the first thing to pop into my mind, I think, mainly because they over-bought for the party and the table was packed with cakes and pies and stuff.”

She nodded “Well, when you said that, I swooned. I blushed. Then I thought ‘wow, this guy is fun!’, and I like to play.”

I gulped. “Me too, I love play!”

She bit her lip, “Oh, I can’t live without it, and I’m very very playful.”

I said, “I can see that! Your lingerie is a kind of playing, right?”

She smacked my leg with her palm, in appreciation, “Right! Exactly!”

I said, “So if I got down to my t-shirt and boxers, you’d understand it’s also playful?”

She gasped, “Do it! Do it, do it, do it!”

I grinned, and stood up. She watched me, sparkle in her eye, and I took off my button-down and my jeans, and stood there in my black t and black boxer-briefs.

She goggled, mouth open. She tucked her hair back again behind her ears and said, “Nice bulge! Oh, you are sexy!”

She reached out and tucked a finger under my waistband, and biting her lip, looked at me mischievously and tugged at it. “Do these come off?”

I took her hand away, “Of course!”

Still grinning, she said, “Can’t wait!”

I laughed. “So”, I asked, “Why did my playing around excite you, that time in the office?”

As I sat down again next to her, our legs touching and hands resting on each other, she said, “Well like I said, playful, and that turns me on too. And also, other things.”

“Like?” I asked.

She said, “Well, you know in my culture, when it’s your birthday, they bring you a big cake. And then they sing to you. And then they smash your face into the cake!”

I laughed, “Oh, yeah, I’ve seen videos!”

She shrugged, “Well, that happened to me a few times, and I loved it!”

I said, “Oh, god, I’d have loved to have seen that!”

She asked, “You would? Really?”

“Oh yeah! That would be amazing! I bet you looked fantastic!”

She laughed, “Well, I looked.. caked! But I felt fantastic! It was fun. But oh my god so much frosting.”

I said, “Well, if I was planning that I’d provide a cake with extra frosting. Like, oh, three or four times the amount of normal.”

She smacked my arm, “Shut up!”

I said, “Isn’t it also in the culture where the birthday person gets pied?”

“Yeah”, she said, “I never got pied though. Just caked. But they could have pied me, I wouldn’t have minded.”

I said, “I’ll remember that. Your birthday is in November, right?”

She said, “Right!”


She said, “It’s a long way away, but you can do anything you want to me on my birthday.”

“Oh, very duly noted!”

She grinned, “Good! So, what about you? Any shenanigans like that?”

I said, “No, though in high school people did get pied on their birthday, but never to me.”

She said, “Oh, too bad! I’d have liked to have seen you get pied!”, and she laughed.

“Oh really? Well on my birthday, I’d love to take a pie in the face from you. Now that’s playful.”

She looked mildly stunned for a moment, “What did you say you’d love on your birthday?”

“I said I’d love to get a pie in the face from you!”, I smiled.

She immediately leaned in and started to kiss me, deeply and sensually, Our lips matched perfectly, and our tongues played with each other’s. She was a great kisser, and we had fantastically good chemistry. Her body, pressed against mine, was extremely arousing as her breasts pressed against me.

We kissed and made-out for a long time.

When we paused, she said, “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“What?”, I asked, “That I said on my birthday I want you to pie me?”

“Oh, god..”, she breathed, and kissed me again, aggressively. Her hand slid to my bulge and caressed me up and down. She stopped kissing for a moment, “Oh wow, I’m not the only one who’s on fire right now!” she said as she caressed my over my briefs. I gasped involuntarily.

She slid her hand under my waistband and grabbed my hard cock with her hand, and caressed me, exploring how I felt, skin to skin. She said, “Oh, fuck…”

I said, “Your hand feels amazing.”

She replied, “Your dick feels amazing. Damn, like the perfect size for me too.”

She didn’t extricate her hand, and I started to caress her under-boob that wasn’t covered by her lingerie. She gasped, then said, “Oh, keep doing that and we’re going to get ourselves into all kinda of trouble.”

“Sensitive breasts?”

She nodded, “Sensitive everything. Like I said touch turns me on.”

Her hand still under my briefs, playing and exploring, I was getting distracted. “Me too.”

“I can tell.”, she winked.

I asked, “So, then, shared showers, lots of soap and lather, massage oil in bed, shared baths?”

She nodded, “Yes, yes, and yes!”. She slid her hand out of my briefs and under my tee, caressing my chest. She leaned onto me, and I leaned back, one arm around her shoulder and my free hand caressing her thigh and gorgeous ass. I kept sliding my hand under her panties elastic, to get to the entire curve of her butt.

She grinned, “Keep doing that and I’m not going to want to stay dressed for much longer.”

I said, “If that happens, I’m going to have to strip off my clothes as well.”

“Tempting, tempting.”, she said,

“I’m guessing that if you had your way, you’d just have started this whole evening naked.”

She nodded, “Oh yeah. Not even joking”.

I said, “Me either. Tell you what, next date? Naked date. Meet me at your door nude and I’ll join you immediately.”

She said, “Done! That’s my kind of date!”

“I’ll bring lots of oil and lots of bubble bath.”, I said.

“Ok!”, she grinned.

We kissed again, sending our libidos into the stratosphere once again.

She paused, “Why the hell aren’t we naked?”


“Oh right.”

I said, “Speaking of which, birthday caking and pieing and such, if it’s a birthday cake in the face or pie in the face, doesn’t it make sense that the birthday girl or boy is in their birthday suit when it happens?”

She sat up and looked at me, a stunned grin across her face. “What?”

“Seriously, if I caked you for your birthday, doesn’t it make sense that since it’s your birthday I should get you into your birthday suit first, before I throw you into the cake? Or before I launch a coconut cream pie in your face? And I should be in my birthday suit as well, since it’s a birthday. Right?”

She blinked, mouth open, looking at me. She blinked again. “Oh. Fuck!” she finally exclaimed, and grabbed me and kissed me very, very passionately.  Her hands were under my shirt, and she started to pull it up over my head. We had to stop smooching at that point, and she yanked the t over my head and tossed it across the room.

I leaned in to kiss her again, but she sat up and started pulling my briefs off of me. “These are coming off”, she said, and rapidly stripped me of my briefs.

Naked, I reclined on the couch as she ran her hands up and down my naked body.  She took time to cup my balls with one hand while caressing and stroking my hard cock with the other. “You have a gorgeous cock, oh my god. I could stare at you all day you sexy, sexy man.”

She stood up, and turned her back to me, and leaned over and slid out of her panties.  Standing up again, bare ass to me, she took off her lingerie top.  Naked, she crossed an arm across her breasts and covered her crotch and she turned around and smiled.

“Oh my god..”, I said.

She turned her back to me again, and dropped her arms. Then, she spun around, nude, and made her breasts jiggle, and walked toward me and climbed on top of me.

We made out for a long time, hands everywhere, working ourselves up to incredible sexual tension. We felt great with each other, and we told each other so.

She whispered, “Does it have to be my birthday to get caked? Or pied?”

I whispered back, “No. Just in your birthday suit.”

“Mmmm. Anytime I’m in my birthday suit?”

“Uh huh!”, I whispered.

“That’s my favorite suit to wear. I’m in my birthday suit now.”

“All we need is a pie.”, I said.

She kissed me, and ground her clit against my cock. “I have one.”

I stopped, “Really?”

She nodded. “Anytime I’m in my birthday suit, you can cake me or pie me. Any. Time.”

I squeezed and cupped and caressed her breasts, “Oh, please answer honestly, do you have a pie in the face and a cake in the face sexual fetish?”

She paused, and grinning widely, nodded her head. “Yes.”

I grinned, “That is so amazingly sexy.”

She kissed me, “Since you asked, I need to tell you. It’s all I think about when I think of sex. I can only orgasm when I’m pied or thinking about pies and cakes. I love it, I really get off when I take a cake or pie in the face. And naked, oh my god, pure sex.”

I said, “I love it. I’m in. I’m so in.”

She kissed my neck, “Will you take a pie?”

I said, “From you? Hell yes. That would be intensely erotic.”

“It would? You’re just saying that.”

I said, “No.  Because you hit the lottery. I have a huge pie in the face fetish. Not even joking. It must have come out when I pretended to pie you at the office.”

“Oh my god!”, she kissed me again, and we were so close to fucking each other breathless it was crazy.

She whispered again, while stroking my cock as I caressed her wet, slippery sex, “I want to pie you. I really really want to pie you.”

I said, “Anytime I’m in my birthday suit, fuck yes, pie me!”

She moaned, “Fuck me, say that again!”

I smiled, “Pie me when we’re both naked. But I will so get you back. We’ll both be pied and caked from face to feet.”

“Oh, god, yes, I want that! Both of us, I want to see both of us just fucking plastered.”

I said, “Where is this pie?”

She immediately got off of me and walked naked to the kitchen. I followed.

She picked up a huge pie that had been sitting on the counter. Holding it in both hands in front of her, she said, “Here it is. A homemade coconut cr–”

I took the pie from her hands, and she watched. Her eyes went wide, and her mouth opened, and she said “OH NO!”

SPLAFFF!  I overhanded the pie and planted it into her face. The pie was very big, and a wave of topping and coconut cream splashed and splattered over her the top of her hair, along the sides of her hair, over her ears, and in a wide splatter of thick topping and pie around her neck and upper chest and over both of her shoulders.  The pie was thick enough that when I took the tin away, the pieces of crust slid slowly off of inches of topping and coconut cream. The pie was thick, and very gooey. Her mouth was open in shock, and filled with pie. She swallowed a mouthful, and licked cream from her pie-covered sensual lips.

She stood, stunned, as the pie fell from her face in pieces, globs, and gooey waves trailing gooey white and coconut cream. Her big breasts caught most of what fell from her head, and the pie slid slowly as it splattered her boobs and chest with coconut cream pie.  A large piece of crust fell from the side of her head to land on her breast, sliding over her erect, stiffened nipple and creaming it almost entirely.

She looked very sexy.

She took the pie in the face, and let the pie just slide from her, enjoying every moment of getting pied.

“Oh.”, she said, muffled voice under pied face. She opened her eyes, and only her right eye opened, peeking out from a completely coconut-creamed face.

Pie was still sliding and falling down her body, which was now splattered and smeared in various places with white pie. Her breasts took the most of it, after her face and head of course, and she looked incredibly sexy.

She raised her arms, “Oh, that was good, you got me. I am SO pied.”

“Uh huh!”

She blinked at me in faux-shock.

“I can’t believe you did that! I am so turned on right now…”

I laughed!

She wiped her eyes, finally, and looked at me – very pied face and head – and laughed. “Mmm! Yum! Oh, that was a fantastic pie in the face! Oh, god!”

I grabbed her, and we kissed passionately and lasciviously once again. She threw her arms around me, and I pulled her to the pie-splattered floor.

I said, “Fuck me if you’re the sexiest women I’ve ever seen right now. Pied is your look. So so sexy.”

She was on top of me, poised to impale herself on my hard, hot cock. She asked, “Am I the sexiest woman you’ve ever seen, because you pied me?”

“Yes!”, I exclaimed.

“Well then,”, she said, “that means I finally get to fuck you.”

And, still dripping pie and this time all over me, she slid onto me, and we both gasped. We had sex for a long time, over and over, wrecking the kitchen and exhausting ourselves.

The Photographer

After months of emails and video conversations, the fetish photographer and I finally set up a custom shoot. We’d become very friendly and familiar with each other, and so she invited me to the studio for the shoot, where I’d essentially direct the story and the skits.

I walked up the long flight of stairs to the landing, and knocked on the door. “Come in!”, she yelled, and I entered the well-lit and open-plan studio.

“Hi Janice!”, I waved. She grinned and waved back, “Hey Jay, come on in!”

Janice is a smidge shorter than I am, with very short brown hair highlighted by a lighter reddish-brown. A slim figure, forty-something and very sexy, with a couple of cool tattoos along each arm.

Once, in one of our chats (and after she’d had a glass of wine), she asked me if I was one of those guys who only liked girls with big chests. I laughed and said no; she replied “Good. I’m a 34B on a good day.”

She was dressed in a well-pocketed vest and a pair of tan shorts. Running shoes. A couple of video cameras were set up on tripods, and she was fiddling with a digital SLR camera.

I looked her up and down, and she busted me. “Yes”, she said, “This is me!”

I said, “This is you! It’s much nicer to see you in person than on video.”

“Thanks!”, she said, “Hope you aren’t disappointed. And if you are, too bad.”

I replied, “Oh, far from it! You’re even sexier in person.”

She smiled, “Thank you! So are you. Very cute. You have a very handsome face.”

I smiled, “Thanks back. It’s good for a a pie, so I’ve heard.”

She arched an eyebrow and looked up from her camera, “Oh definitely.”

While we waited for the model to arrive, I walked around the studio while she fine-tuned her gear. She asked, “So how long have you had your pie in the face fetish?”

I told her it was as long as I could remember.

She looked up, “Giving and receiving? Or just giving and seeing?”

“Both”, I said, “I love taking a good pie in the face, especially naked with a lover. It’s more of a kink than a fetish.  And I can really take a pie, let me tell you! I’m very good at taking the pie.”

She almost dropped the camera, “Oh! Really? I’ll remember that!”, she said, and then looking down at a meter on her camera.

I laughed. She asked, “Is that your fantasy, taking a pie in the face?” I looked over and saw her biting her lower lip after she asked the question. She looked up at me, and I smiled, “One of them! I have a few fantasies, to say the least.”

She replied, “Me too! But don’t you have one or two that are much more powerful than the rest?”

I nodded, “Oh yeah, for sure.”

She nodded again, “Yeah, me too. I have a feeling we’re pretty similar.”

I said, “I have a feeling we’re pretty compatible!”

She smiled and looked up at me, arching her eyebrow again, “I didn’t want to say it. Ok, so any other kinks or fetishes?”

I said, “Yeah, I’m a bath or shower freak. Tons of lather and orgasms is a great way to start or end a day.”

She grinned, “I’m with you there, completely. Showering together is a requirement for me. So is lots of soap and lather. My last bf hated used to kick me out of the shower when I joined him. That one didn’t last.”

I looked at a silver umbrella on a stand, “Oh god, I’d never let you leave the shower if you climbed in with me!”

“Good to know!”, she said.

I asked, “What about you? I know you’re a fetish photographer, so I imagine your tastes are varied?”

“Oh yeah”, she said, “I’m really fascinated by kink and hidden sexuality, and the sensual things that turn people on. Especially the kinks and fetishes and fantasies of women. It helped me come to terms with my own. I’ve tried a few things. Rope is fun, but I don’t really like being tied up. I liked restricting someone else, though. I’m very fascinated by pie-play. Not the humiliation kind, but the consensual kink kind. That’s why I’ve agree to do pie-shoots, especially after reading your scripts and stories.”

“Oh? Thanks!”, I said, “Do you have a favorite story?”

She said, “Well, a couple. Some just do nothing for me, but most do. A couple really get me.”, she looked up at me from her camera, “I love the one where she turns the tables and pies the hell out of him. I masturbated to that one a couple of times.”

She looked at me to gauge my reaction.  I played it cool, but in fact I was delightedly speechless after her comment.

I checked my watch. The model was running late. “So what do you fantasize about?”

She laughed, “Such an intimate question! Well I would like to tie someone up and have my way, that’d be hot.”

“Man or woman?”, I asked

“Man”, she replied, “How about you? Want to be tied up?”

I grinned, “It depends by whom, and whether she likes pies.”

She laughed. Once she recovered, she said, “Oh my god…”

I said, “You ok? Not too weird?”

She shook her head, “No not weird at all.. something else entirely!”

She lifted the camera and took a few test shots. “Can I ask you more questions?” she asked.

“Yeah, please. I love this!”, I said.

She smiled and took a few shots of me, walking around the studio. “How are you about being naked? In private I mean?”

“I love it. You?”
“Same”, she said, “I have no problem with getting naked. You’re lucky I didn’t answer the door naked, I usually am when I’m alone in here.”

I said, “I think you and I have a different definition of ‘lucky’! That would have been hot.”

“Thank you! That’s nice to hear, I’m glad you think so! So, um, oh, another question. Do you get pied often?”

I shook my head, “Not as often as I’d like, no.”

“So you’d like to be pied more often?”

“God yes! Pie play in general more often, giving, receiving, naked. I love taking a pie in the face, naked, from a woman who’s also naked. Of course I will get my revenge! That’s also hot.”

She laughed again, deeply. “Oh you are so sexy! Sometimes you say things that just destroy me!”

I looked at her and grinned, “Thanks!”

She asked, “So are those the rules for you? Only pies in the face when everyone is naked?”

I nodded, “Yep.”

She replied, “Fuuuuuk….”

I asked, “What?”, and laughed.

She shook her head, “Later. Look if this model doesn’t show you, why don’t you get naked and I’ll shoot you?”

I said, “Because you’d have to be naked as well. Stark naked, birthday-suit, wearing nothing but a smile!”

She looked up at me, “Oh, I’ll keep that in mind.”

She looked at her watch, “Model’s very late. Well, I’ll be right back, I need to finish the set up”. She walked down a long, narrow hallway, and I could hear the squeaking of a wheeled cart.  She came back to the studio room pushing a three-level wire cart that was stacked with large, gooey-looking white pies. She pushed the cart onto a plastic sheet that had been spread across the floor.

I said, “Damn! Those are gorgeous pies! Big, too.”

Janice nodded, “Oh yes. These will give a big splat. And they’ll stick. It’s a great recipe, and they won’t melt or stink up the place.”

“What’s in them?”, I asked.

“Not going to tell you, but if you’re lucky, you’ll find out!”, she winked at me.

I smiled, “Uh huh! Sure!”

She raised her eyebrow at me and grinned.

I walked away from the pies. “So, have you ever giving someone a pie in the face? Model? Boyfriend?”

She fiddled with her camera again, and grinned widely, “No..”, and her cheeks turned a little pink. She scrunched up her nose, “So, can I ask you? Do you really enjoy getting a pie in the face?”

I nodded, “Naked, god yes!”

Still grinning, she said, “God I find that so sexy!”

I laughed, “Good!”

She said smiling, “So tell me again why you’re not my naked model for today?”

I laughed, “It’s a tempting idea! I think the model is a no-show”.

Janice said, “Yeah. Happens more often than I’d like. Looks like it’s just us, then.”

“Good!”, I said, “Oh, I mean, such a shame.”

She feigned disappointment, “Yes, such a shame, I’m locked up in my studio with a sexy, handsome man who doesn’t know he’s about to get naked for me.”

This time I raised my eyebrow at her, “Oh really? With all of these pies around? Sounds risky for me!”

“Why risky?”, she asked, “You said you could take a pie in the face!”

I said, “Oh, I can!”

She bit her lip and said, “I’d like to see that sometime.”

“If you’re lucky, you just might.”, I said.

She replied, “Now I think that you and I agree on the definition of luck.”

She walked over and locked the door. “So tell me, Jay, how does a girl like me get that lucky, hm?”

I said, “Just ask for what you want, I think. You never know what can happen.”

She nodded, “I see. I’ll remember that.” and she walked up to me and gave me a very soft, slow kiss on the cheek.

I watched her walk to the tripods. I asked, “Are you wearing a bra under that vest?”

“Nope”, she replied, popping the ‘p’ of the word.

“Ooh!”, I said. “And under those shorts?”

“Nope!”, she popped the ‘p’ again. “No bra there either. Nothing actually.”

“Oh, now who’s the sexy one?”

She grinned, “Thought you’d like that.”

I said, “Yep, definitely.”

She said, “I could be naked just like that!”, she snapped her fingers.

I said, “Oh, so good to know.”

She fiddled with a camera and was still smiling. After a while of mutual silence, she said, “Jay… can I tell you something?”.  She wasn’t looking at me.

I said, “You can tell me anything.”

She continued, “You asked me what my fantasy was. I want to tell you what it is. Life’s too short, I think.”

I nodded and waited.

“I want you to get naked, and I want to give you a pie in the face, also naked. And then I want to cover you, and pie you in the face again and again. And then, when you’re ridiculous and obliterated, I want to pull you to the floor and climb on top of you and ride your hot hard penis until I’m satisfied.”

She looked at me. I looked at her. Finally, I said, “Holy fuck, that’s hot.”

She laughed, “Oh thank god!”

I grinned, watching her.

I said, “Please continue, I have a feeling that there’s more to this whole thing.”

She shook her head, “I don’t believe I just told you all of that. And I can’t believe you think it’s hot. Really? You’re not just trying to get laid?”

I shook my head, “You’ve read my stuff. I have as big a pie in the face fetish as you do.”

She said, “Yeah, but for seeing young, firm women take pies. Not, like.. you know..”

I looked at her, “I think you’d be very surprised. And I think you just won the lottery. Just saying, you know..”.

She laughed a deep, throaty, sexy laugh. I loved her laugh!

She finally said, “Oh good lord.”

I said, “OK, so come on, open your raincoat, why me?”

She said, “Oh, now you’re fishing for compliments!”

I grinned, “No, no. There’s more to all of this, has to be?”

She sighed and put down the camera, and sat on a high wooden stool.

“Don’t run away, OK?”

I held up two fingers, “Promise. You owe me pie, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Stop!”, she shot me a look, smirking. “Ok. Fine. Fine!”

I waited. She ran her hands through her short, sexy hair.

“I….”, she started.

I waited.

She took a breath. “I have a crush on you. Hard. I mean, I have a huge crush. You’re all I can think about. It’s crazy! Since our, I don’t know, second chat? I just fell hard. I mean, I dream about you naked, I dream about us naked! I can’t believe I still have my clothes on, to be honest.  Fuck, I can’t believe you have your clothes on! I.. fantasize.. about giving you a huge pie in the face, and you love it so much, and you jump me, ravish me, consume me..”

She paused. I waited and watched her.

She looked up on me. “I sound like a stalker!”

I shook my head, “Not at all.”

She said, “Well, so there you go. Every morning I wake up, horny as hell, and I think about you being with me. We’re naked. Totally naked, and it’s so good. And I take a huge pie and I just.. pie you, and then give you the best blowjob, and then you lay me back and take me until I lose my mind. Every morning, that’s how I wake up. I’m obsessing, and goddamit your stories and being here isn’t helping!”, she chuckled.

I said, “Or, it is helping!”

“Yeah… or that!”, she put her hands over her eyes.

I said “The feeling is mutual, Janice. You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever met, and I’m wildly attracted to you. No joke.”

She looked up, “Oh?”

I nodded, “Oh. Yes. Walking around in a vest and no bra? And you have great boobs, by the way. Total torture!”

She snorted a laugh, and then grinned, “I hoped you’d notice.”

I said, “Pssh!  Oh yeah. From the moment I walked in.”

She said, “So, I can get you with a pie? That’s my fantasy. I want to see you pied, the crust falling from your face to your naked body, watching as you let the pie drip all over. I really do, it’s my.. it’s… I can’t.. it’s…. oh I can’t even explain.”

I asked, “Is the bathroom down that way?”

She took a breath “Yeah, sorry, sorry, yes. There, on the left.”

I left the studio, and headed to the bathroom.

I returned to the studio wearing only a bathtowel around my waist.

She looked at me, and her eyes widened. “Oh, look at you!”

I nodded. “You know, Janice, I can really take a pie. I’m very, very good at it.”

She smiled, “Oh, are you? Is that so?”

I nodded, “Yep.”, I removed the towel and tossed it to the floor, and stood in front of her, stark naked.

She looked at me and grinned, widely, “Oh, you bastard, so not fair!”

I looked at her. “What?”

She said, “You’re wickedly sexy. Oh my god, that penis.”

“Are you saying you like my cock?”

“I am”, she said, “And I’ll like it even more after it’s covered in whipped cream.”

I grinned. “Promises, promises.”

She hopped off of the wooden stool. “Motherfucker! Don’t move!”

She dashed off down the hallway.

After a few moments, she dashed back into the studio room, completely naked.

I watcher her dash, nude, and said, “Oh my god! Oh, fuck, you are sexy!”

She was grinning from ear to ear, and ran straight to the cart full of pies. She picked up a pie, and walked toward me with a pie in the flat of her hand.

“You are so asking for it.”, she said.

I replied, “No no, I’m not! If I were asking for it, I’d say ‘Janice, give me that pie!'”

She laughed, and then said, “What the hell did you just say?”

I grinned, and hands on my hips, I said, “Janice! Give me that pie!”

She said, “Oh, you sexy… I want to give you this pie. I want to really give you this pie. I want to let you have it. I want to see you with a pie in the face.”

I asked, “A pie in the face? What do you mean?”

She snorted, “Oh my god, I can’t resist. Seriously. You really want this pie?”

I asked, “You really want to give me that pie?”

She laughed again, “Yes!”

I said, “Well, then –” and I had to stop, because she slammed that pie into my face, and it stuck. It was thick, white cake batter and cream and marshmallow, and it just stuck to me as the crust cracked and the pie oozed very slowly from my face.

She laughed loudly, and clapped her hands.

“Oh Jay, Yes! Oh you are so sexy, oh fuck you look good! Oh my god you are so pied!”

I smiled, and took the pie in the face, standing there as the pie slowly fell.

She wiped my eyes, and put her arms around my neck, and we kissed and made out for a long time. Lips, tongues, and some passionate, lustful, desperate kissing happened.

Pied and only able to open one eye, I looked at her cute, smiling face. She asked, “How’s the pie?”

I said, “Awesome!”

She said, “Really? You liked getting a pie in the face?”

I said, “From you, it’s a huge turn-on.”

She groped my cock (and I groped her wet clit), and she said “Oh I can see that!”

She asked, “Seriously, you enjoyed the pie in the face?”
I nodded, “Oh yeah. Loved it, and it’s very sensual, erotic! Your glee in pieing me is so hot, I’m dying to jump you.”

She said, “Oh, fuck you are sexy.”

I asked, “Did you like hitting me in the face with that pie?”

She nodded, “UH huh! Naked. You and me, naked, and it was my fantasy to throw a pie at my naked man, and he’d love it! Oh my god I’m so horny right now, you’re like my perfect lover.” She kissed me again, and I pulled her to the floor.

I smeared cream from my face all over hers, and she squealed. Her face was now smeared with some cream, and she said, “I guess that’s fair! Oh I want to pie you again, I don’t want to stop.”

I said “You know I loved it. Bring it on, you sexy naked.. pie freak!”

She said, “Pie freak. That’s me.” We made out, her on top of me as I lay on my back on the plastic sheet on the studio floor.

She spread pie and cream all over my neck and chest, and kissed me. Once I was creamed from neck to hips, she lay her body on top of mine and got herself good and creamed, just from me.

I had my hands all over her sexy, slim body, and caressed and teased her breasts, nipples, sides, forearms.. all of her bare skin.

She said, breathily, “I need to fuck you, so much”, and she slid on top of me, impaling herself onto my hard, throbbing cock.

She felt incredible, and it must have been mutual because she gasped, “Oh, fuck yes!”.

I had my hands all over her, and she was riding me, eyes closed and in pure pleasure.

She started to get close to an orgasm, and she opened her eyes and took a pie from the lowest shelf of the rack. Holding it, she looked down at me.

I said, “What..”, and before I could ask, she slammed the pie down over my face, plastering me but good. She smeared pie all over my face and ears and neck, and down my chest. A very few moments later, she moaned and almost screamed.

“Oh, fuck! FUCK yes!!”, she yelled, and had an intense, long orgasm. She kept fucking me, up and down on my cock, my thumb rubbing her clit as she banged the hell out of me. Her orgasm lasted quite a while, her face screwed up into pure pleasure.

“Ohhhh.. god!”, she finally gasped, and fell on top of me, burying her face into my pie-coated neck.

A minute or two later, she said, “You sexy bastard, oh my god, that was the best orgasm of my life! You made me cum so hard!”

I laughed and wiped my eyes, “You pied me!”

She started to giggle, and lost herself in a fit of giggling. “Yes, I did! Oh boy, I did, and it was SO good!”

I grinned.

She said, “My fantasy. I hope you liked it!”

I laughed, “I loved it! Oh my god, pie me anytime!”

She squealed, and squirmed against me, “Ok!”, she said through a big smile.

She sat up, her face smeared with pie (my face obliterated with pie!), and smiled down at me. “You are so sexy pied. I love the way you look this way!”

I looked up at her sexy body, adorable face, and sexy short hair. “You’re irresistible, Janice, I can’t get over how sexy you are. Stay naked, I want you naked all of the time. Seriously.”

She grinned, “OK! No problem, I’m just fine being nude.”

She took to handfuls of whipped cream from my head and slathered it all over my hard cock and balls.

Wordlessly, and sitting on top of me, she started giving me a pie-covered handjob with expert technique. She knew what she was doing.

I reached over and picked up a pie from the lowest rack.

She shook her head, “Oh, no, my fantasy is throwing the pies, not getting pied!”

I smiled, and at an awkward angle started to toss the pie into her face. She very adeptly grabbed the pie from me, and as I sat up to try to take it back from her, she slammed the pie into my face and smashed it around in wide circles, once again totally plastering me with a pie.

She broke into laughter, and couldn’t stop laughing.