I stepped out of the shower having spent the last hour in the sound-stage gym, working out before I had to spend another Saturday on set and prepping for a shoot.
Towel dry, the usual, and I slipped into some clean boxer-briefs and tossed the towel around my neck and headed out on set to inspect for one last time.
I walked down set-corridors of flats and the backs of sets until I entered the stage. A classic mid-nineteenth-century castle set, but with dozens of benches and rows and rows of whipped-cream pies.
Yes, tomorrow was the first day of shooting the Big Massive Pie Fight (trademark) and I was checking, for the 130th time, that everything was ready to go.
I adjusted my boxer-briefs when I head a voice.
“OH my GOD!” a lovely alto voice exclaimed, from my right. I turned and saw a brown-haired woman slightly shorter than I am and wearing a short summer dress and tall heeled shoes. Busty as hell, nice ass, and the tightness of her dress doing nothing to curb my imagination.
She waved, sheepishly. I waved back. “Hello”, I said.
“Oh hey..” she replied. “I’m so sorry I didn’t know anyone would be here!” she looked at me, face to crotch and back, and then back to crotch, smiling an idiotic smile.
I said “I’m here! And you are…?”
She looked stunned, and there was a long and awkward silence before she replied, “OH! I’m Isolde. Call me Iso! My parents were opera nerds, HAHAha.. nerds..”
I nodded.
She kept talking, “And who are you nearly-naked man?” she gave me the once-over again with her eyes.
I introduced myself, and said, “Jay, and I’m the producer.”
She nodded, “Hello Jay. So, uh, is this a producer thing, you know, working in your briefs? Not that it’s a BAD thing, but you know unexpected!”
“Hi!”, I said, “Not usually, but I just came from the gym and didn’t think anyone else was here, so, you know. Meh. Briefs, better than nothing.”
She nodded, and said “I think we have differing opinions about that but, yeah, OK!” she was grinning.
I nodded. “So what brings you on-set?”
She startled, “Oh! Oh, me? Uh, I’m supposed to start tomorrow, and I think I’m assigned to you actually. I came to see what I was getting into.”
I nodded, “Well, welcome Iso! You’re getting into a shoot, a slapstick pie fight in fact. We’ll start tomorrow.” I gestured at the tables and racks loaded with various whipped-cream laden pies.
Iso snorted, “Amazing. I love it! What do you need me to do?”
I tossed my towel over a chair and said, “Essentially, whatever I tell you to do.”
She snorted a laugh “Well that sounds like trouble!”
I grinned, “It’s not that bad!.”
She snapped her fingers , and said, “Drat! Too bad! I like trouble.” and kept grinning.
I smirked. “Listen, I apologize I’m only in my underwear. I literally thought I was alone.”
She nodded, “MM, not a problem, I like it actually”. She reached behind her back, and unzipped her dress, and almost immediately was stripped down to her bra and thong. She was busty, and her bra barely contained her.
I raised my eyebrows, “Oh really?” I said.
She replied, “Well if you’re in your boxers, I should just be in my underwear. That seems ethical.”
“Sure!” I said, “It does! Well, if you’re comfortable, I’m comfortable.”
“I am!” she replied. “Very.”
“OK” I clapped my hands together, “Lets get started. There isn’t much to do today, really. I came in to make sure the tables were set up, the pies are ready for action, and the marks are set. And.. looks good!”
Iso asked, “And what’s the action? Are you the action?”
I laughed, “No, no, I’m not the action. The lead actor enters from there”, I pointed, “And she takes two steps to that mark,” I pointed to a piece of tape on the floor, “and she faces towards there and gets hit with a pie.”
Iso snorted, “Oh my god. Pie to the face?”
I nodded, “Yep! Classic. She wipes her eyes, and in the middle of her line splat! she gets it again. A second pie. To the face. And provided all of this goes as planned, she gets to pick up a pie and throw it. We’ll cut there to another camera, where her love interest gets hit with the pie she threw.”
Iso was laughing, “God I can’t wait to see this! What will she be wearing?”
I said, “Underwear” and gestured to Iso.
She looked stunned for a moment, but then recovered, “No way, come on. You’re teasing me! Really?”
I laughed, “Nah, she’s in an evening dress. A lbd probably.”
“Ah”, she said, “That makes more movie-sense. On the other hand, underwear would be fun!” she picked up a pie with both hands and said, “Oh my god, this is heavy! It’s loaded with whipcream, isn’t it?”
I nodded, “Oh yeah. coconut cream and whipped cream. Tons by the look of it.”
“And weight of it!” she set the pie back down. “Oh this is going to be a mess! What will you need me to do?”
“Right now, just be in your underwear! Tomorrow, shadow me and run tasks when needed.” I said.
She smirked, “No problemo” and tugged at her bra to make sure her nipples remained covered. “Don’t need me to throw a pie or anything?”
“Probably not, but you never know. Have you ever pied anyone before?” I asked.
She shook her head, “No, never. But I’ve always wanted to get a pie in the face. You know, just turn around and bam!” she pantomimed getting hit with a pie, using her palm as the pie.
I laughed, “Be careful what you wish for! The last day of shooting will probably see me, you, the camera operators all pied.”
She snorted, “That I’d like to see! You, pied!” and she laughed.
“Oh you would, would you?” I smirked. Grinning ear to ear, she nodded “Uh huh!”
I shook my head, smiling. “Too funny! You wait, you will get yours I assure you, and it will be epic! I’m looking forward to seeing that.”
“You are!?” she looked shocked, “Well, I’m looking forward to it. And yeah, if it’s a pie like these, oh my god!” she laughed.
I nodded, “Uh huh. It’s… something is all I can say!”
I adjusted the band on my briefs, thumbs under the elastic and re-fitting them around my hips. Iso jumped slightly, and then laughed, “Oh my god, I thought for a moment you were about to take those off!”
I grinned, “Oh? Well, anything is possible, but we’re not preparing for a naked pie-fight!”
She laughed again, “Oh now you’re getting kinky!”
I leaned on a table, “Trust me, I’ve tried to get a pie fight at the nude beach filmed for years. No luck.”
She stammered, “I-, um, wow. Well now that sounds incredibly erotic!”
“Oh?” I asked, “How so? Not that I disagree but why do you say that?”
“Oh come on!” she smirked, “All that bare skin, all that whipped cream on all that bare skin? Just begging to be licked and sucked? Pardon my french of course. And the feeling of all of that cream on all that bare skin? Oh my god, that’s why I say it sound incredibly erotic!”
I nodded, “I agree, a hundred percent. I would not be able to keep my slippery hands off of you!”
Iso giggled, “Oh really? Ha that doesn’t sound so bad! And yeahhhhh there are certain things I’d, AHEM, want to grab ahold of.”
“I’ll see what I can do to get funding, then.” I said.
“Sounds like a plan! Invite me when you do!” she looked me up and down again, and put her hands on her hips. “Um, so, are you..” she waggled a finger at my crotch, “Uh, are we getting excited?” she smiled.
I sighed, “Yes…all of this talk about naked erotic pie fights. And the thought of my hands on your skin, if I need to be honest.”
She was still smiling, “Oh this is not at all distracting, noooo” sarcasm in her voice.
I snapped the elastic on my waistband, and she barked a loud laugh, and spun around before turning to me again. “You’re terrible! I like that!”
“Thanks!” I said, “You’re terrible as well, I love it!”
“No no, you see, I need to explain I love naked men.” she put her hands to her mouth and blushed just a little.
“That’s great!” I said. “I love naked women! I mean, a lot.”
She nodded, “Oh I bet you do!”
I asked, “So where do you get your naked men?”
She shrugged, “Gay porn usually does the trick” she was clearly embarrassed, and I was smiling.
“Ah, the good old interwebs! Well, I do know where you can find a completely naked man.” I said.
She snorted a laugh again, “Oh no!”
I slid my thumbs under my waistband and stopped. “Oh no? Oh, yes.” I said.
Biting her lip, she watched me.
I asked, “No? Yes?”
She hesitated, and grinning nodded her head up and down, enthusiastically.
“That looks like a yes!”, I said.
She nodded again, “Are you really going to?”
I asked, “Do you want to really find out?”
She nodded again, “Uh huh…”
I slid my boxer briefs to the floor and stepped out of them, and tossed them to the chair holding my towel. My cock bounced free, and I stood there – nude. Iso gasped, “Oh!” and just stared for a moment. Eventually she said, “This isn’t fair!”
I said, “This feels really good.”
She said, “You look really good”, and she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra. Quickly pulling it off, she tossed it to a nearby chair. Topless, she bent over and removed her thong. After tossing them to the chair, she walked naked to me. I was mesmerized by her body. She stepped up to me, put her arms around my neck and pressed her chest into mine. I caressed her very soft bare skin from ass to shoulders and back. She kissed my neck, and then my lips and said, “Thank you for taking off your clothes. You have a beautiful big thick cock. And you’re sexy.” She kissed me again, and this time I kissed back.
The feeling of her naked body against mine made me perfectly hard. “Can I touch your beautiful thick penis?” she asked me, and before I could answer I felt her hand caress me and play with the tip before sliding her fingers up and down, under my balls and back. I move a hand to one breast, and teased a sleeping nipple to attention.
I said, “You and I are working naked from now on.”
She nodded, “Oh yes we are” and we kissed again.
“I confess” I said, “I love being nude.”
She said, “Me too. A lot. Oh, and I love being nude too” she grinned, licked my lower lip and kissed me again.
I said, “Naked pie fight. We’re one out of three, so how about the pie and instead of a fight, it’s a love? Naked pie love.”
She said, “Oh, don’t even tempt me! And corny, but yes, make love not fight.”
I disengaged from her warm, sexy body, my very hard cock wobbling a little as it brushed against her skin. She gave me a grope as I stepped to the table and picked up a large coconut cream pie. She backed up a step and waved a finger at me, “Oh no, now wait a minute!” and laughed.
I held the pie in my hand, ready to expertly deliver a pie in the face. She continued, “If you do this, it’s on! And, uh, if you throw that pie, you should know that I will really need you to fuck me.”
I raised an eyebrow, and asked, “Really need me to what?”
She started to say “F..” as I tossed the pie, landing it square in her face. Cream splattered in an arc around her head, shoulders and neck, sending pie onto her hair and sliding down her cheeks, shoulders and breasts. The pie simply splattered everywhere with a loud pop!.
“Oh!!” she leaned forward, a wide smile with pie in her mouth, face engulfed in cream and pie filling. “Oh my god!” she laughed, gasping.
“Perfect!” I said.
She nodded her head, “Yup. YUP! You got me with a pie in the face!” and she licked her lips. “Mmm. You know what? This feels good!” She stood up straight, face pied, and opened her eyes. They blinked open from under a sheet of whipped cream. Coconut filling adorned her nose and forehead, and a large piece of pie and crust was splattered over the top of her hair.
“You look amazing!” I said. She laughed, and picked up a pie.
I said, “Now, wait a minute…”
“Nope!” she said, and then pied me. The cream was cool, thick, and she smashed the pie all over my face and head. Once she was done, and took the plastic holder away, she broke into laugther.
I stood there and took it, a wide smile on my face. I opened my eyes, looking at her in an an expression of surprise. She was laughing. “You look great!”
She took a piece of pie from my neck and smeared cream all over my cock. I gasped at the sensation of cool, slippery thick cream on my bare, hard sex.
In return, I took a piece of pie and slid it down and over her clit. She gasped and said, “Oh that’s good.”
I asked, “More pie?”
She nodded, “Yes please!”
We both picked up coconut cream pies and faced each other. “OK” I said, “On three! You ready? You count!”
“Ok!” she said, cheerily. “One!”
I tossed my pie at one and plastered her square in the face. “OH you sexy FUCKER” she laughed from under a pied face, and groped out with her left hand to locate my face, and then smashed her pie into my face and smeared it all around my head again.
This time we had to wipe our eyes to see. I had cream splattered all over my bare skin, and my cock was coated in white whipped cream. She was also splashed and splattered with pie, front and back.
I picked up two pies, and while she was struggling to get a slippery hand under a second pie, I stepped behind her and planted each pie on each breast, smearing it all over and covering the top half of her body, from neck to hips, with coconut cream pies. She gasped, and then groaned as I smeared and spread cream and pie all over her chest. She leaned back into me, a pie in hand, and I got under it with mine and flipped it into her face, smashing it all around her head. Ear to ear, the top of her head, and her face were once again covered with pie.
She licked her lips and leaned back into me, a creamed hand stroking my cock. I leaned forward and picked up two pies, one in each hand. She couldn’t see, so I whispered, “More pie..” in her pie-plastered ear, and pie-sandwiched her, slowly smashing them around in circles over her entire head.
This time, she moaned. “Oh, god…” and turned around. We started to slip on the pie on the floor, so I stepped to the side. Groping with her hands, she followed me, and slowly sunk to her knees. Finding my cock, she took a dollop of pie from her head and stuffed it into her mouth, and then placed her mouth over my cock and took me in, teasing me with her tongue. Stroking me with one hand while she gave me a pie-covered-blowjob, it was my turn to moan. I blinked cream from my eyes, and looked down. Her entire head was covered in pie, her hair plastered and matted with cream and filling. Pieces of crust stuck here and there. Each breast was covered with cream, her nipples very pert and cream-white. A piece of pie was slowly sliding down the curve of one breast.
She was so good, my leg started shaking, and I was on the edge of an orgasm but just not quite. It was pure pleasure! I finally needed to slide down to join her on the floor. She threw herself on me, and kissed me, deeply. My hand between her legs, teasing her clit, and hers on my cock, slippery and stroking. We were driving each other wild.
I slipped, and slid onto my back. I guided her to straddle me, and I said, “Fuck me until you’re breathless and can’t fuck anymore!”
She wiped cream from her eyes, and said, “You are so lucky that I love sex!” and slid on top of my cock.
We both gasped, and we had sex on the slippery floor. Changing positions after a while, from her riding me to her on all fours, to my bending her over the table after I surprised her with another pie in the face (she laughed, and gasped).
At one point we took turns pieing each other in a chaotic sequence of pies landing anywhere we could land them! Faces, heads, tits, cock, ass, chest, back, until we were both literally covered in cream and coconut from head to toe, front to back. After her third orgasm, and a quick catch of breath, she straddled me and took my cock with her cream-slick hands. Taking a pie, she smashed it all over my cock and balls, and gave me a slick, cream-covered handjob, telling me to watch while she looked at my pied face and my facial expressions as she stroked, and teased. I watched her nude, creamed body on mine, and her hands on my cock, stroking, and could feel an incredible orgasm coming.
Now using one hand, she picked up a pie. I was groaning and writing, and begging her not to stop, and when I saw the pie in her hand, I said, “Oh no…”
She said, “Oh fuck yes!” and pied me in the face. She returned both hands to my cock and balls, and in seconds made me cum incredibly hard. As I did, loudly, she said, “Oh god, yes! cum for me!”
I begged her not to stop, and a few moments later came a second time. More loudly, but with less mess.
I was left gasping, and unable to move. Iso, naked and pied and smiling over me. She slid up to lie next to me in the mess, tracing designs in the cream on my chest.
I said, “You’re right. Naked pie fight is very erotic. Shall we do this again tomorrow?”
She laughed, and kissed me, “Uh huh!”
Pie In The Face And More 